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Happy Sex Life comes with Hard Work and Effort, says Study

The findings are based on research involving approximately 1,900 participants from both heterosexual and same-sex relationships

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Toronto, November 8, 2016: The secret to a happy sex life is the belief that it takes hard work and effort, instead of expecting sexual satisfaction to simply happen, says a study.

“Your sex life is like a garden, and it needs to be watered and nurtured to maintain it, says a new study,” said researcher Jessica Maxwell from the University of Toronto.

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These “sexpectations” — the need to work on sexual growth or rely on sexual destiny — are so powerful they can either sustain otherwise healthy relationships or undermine them, she added.

“People who believe in sexual destiny are using their sex life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing, and they believe problems in the bedroom equal problems in the relationship as a whole,” Maxwell said.

“Whereas people who believe in sexual growth not only believe they can work on their sexual problems, but they are not letting it affect their relationship satisfaction,” she pointed out.

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The findings are based on research involving approximately 1,900 participants from both heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Maxwell said there is a honeymoon phase lasting about two to three years where sexual satisfaction is high among both sexual growth and sexual destiny believers.

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But the benefit of believing in sexual growth becomes apparent after this initial phase, as sexual desire begins to ebb and flow, she added.

The study, published online in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that, while sexual-growth beliefs can buffer the impact of problems in the bedroom, they do not help as much if the problems become too substantial, Maxwell noted. (IANS)

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Couples bad at picking up on partner’s sad feelings: Study

For the study, over 100 participants completed daily diaries about their mood and the mood of their partners for seven consecutive nights

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Couples have tough time understanding soft negative emotions like sadness, loneliness of each other: Study.
Couples have tough time understanding soft negative emotions like sadness, loneliness of each other: Study.
  • Researchers have found that couples find it tough to identify negative soft emotions
  • Relationship related emotions can be identified more easily
  • The unidentified emotions can cause problems in relationships

Your spouse may react immediately when you feel anger, but is he/she equally good at knowing when you feel sad or lonely? No, suggests new research.

Couples do pretty well at picking up one another’s more intense feelings, like happiness or anger, but they are not as sensitive to “soft negative” emotions, said the study published in the journal Family Process. Couples do poorly when it comes to knowing their partner is sad, lonely or feeling down, the findings showed.

Couples do poorly when it comes to soft negative emotions of each other.
Couples do poorly when it comes to soft negative emotions of each other.

“We found that when it comes to the normal ebb and flow of daily emotions, couples aren’t picking up on those occasional changes in ‘soft negative’ emotions like sadness or feeling down,” said study lead author Chrystyna Kouros, Associate Professor at Southern Methodist University, Dallas, US.

The researchers believe that even when a negative mood is not related to the relationship, it ultimately can be harmful to a couple. “Failing to pick up on negative feelings one or two days is not a big deal,” Kouros said.

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“But if this accumulates, then down the road it could become a problem for the relationship. It’s these missed opportunities to be offering support or talking it out that can compound over time to negatively affect a relationship,” she added.

For the study, over 100 participants completed daily diaries about their mood and the mood of their partners for seven consecutive nights. The problem is not one for which couples need to seek therapy, Kouros said.

Instead, she advises couples to stop assuming they know what their partner is feeling. “I suggest couples put a little more effort into paying attention to their partner — be more mindful and in the moment when you are with your partner,” she said.

She cautions, however, against becoming annoying by constantly asking how the other is feeling, or if something is wrong. IANS

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