Shila Ghosh has been in the limelight since 2012 after her story was posted on Facebook by a college girl. Since then, different national and international media portals have covered her story which brings out sympathy for her from people around the world. But after a certain hype, people forget Shila Ghosh and to feed her belly, the old lady has to carry on her daily routine of selling savories in front of Exide.
The media and the concerned citizens never think about the reason behind her plight. After NewsGram posted her story on 16th June, the buzz was recreated with a campaign to help this old lady. But the team decided to meet the family members to enquire into the real problem.
NewsGram talked to her grandson Subir Ghosh, her daughter-in-law Tanuja Ghosh, Subir Ghosh’s wife Shrabani Ghosh and the MP of Howrah District Mr. Prasun Banerjee. They all said that they don’t need any monetary help but they demand a home or a flat from the Samaritans.
Tanuja said, “We don’t want any monetary help, as my mother and I both receive a pension of around Rs. 8,000. My son also earns some money by singing and other jobs. If you really love Shila amma, please buy a flat for her in Bally”.
At the time of interaction with her family members, the fragile old lady looked at us in a very innocent manner and her lips once murmured with a whispering tone, saying, “Thank you NewsGram”.
On asking why they won’t help Shila amma in her daily job, the 30-year-old Shrabani Ghosh said, “I am an arthritis patient, so it is not possible for me to commute a distance of 40 km daily. My mother in law is a BP patient and my husband is busy in his own profession”.
Her grandson Subir Ghosh said, “I help her in getting the pension and also in buying savories from Burrabazar. I repeatedly toldthakuma (grandmother), not to commute at this age, but she won’t hear our words”.
We also talked to the MP of Howrah District, Mr. Prasun Bannerjee, he said, “ She is like my grandmother, it is my duty to help her, but I cannot assure them about their demand of getting a flat as there is no current government project here.”
The story surfaces the greed of the family members, but at the same time, reflects the contentment and gratitude of the brave lady.
NewsGram requests the readers to offer help to the old lady, not necessarily monetary help, but spending some time with her would also make her happy.
One should accept one’s presence in an abusive relationship
Make arrangements to flee and keep your family safe
Reach out organizations created for this purpose
July 19, 2017: People comfort themselves by giving various reasons to justify staying in an abusive relationship but one of the common excuses is fear. Fear of an emotional breakdown, fear of physical violence, fear of not being able to leave the relationship safely, fear of instability, or fear of being unable to survive on our own. However, one can easily overcome such fears. There exist ways to safely exit a toxic relationship and putting a red light on domestic violence. The following tips can help one overcome the trauma that one has been going through.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF ABUSE
Firstly, one needs to acknowledge the fact that one is experiencing abuse in their relationship. There can be different types of abuse, for instance, sexual, physical, mental, financial, or a combination. It is essential for the victim to accept that they are not being treated properly as it can enable them with the power to exit even if the situation makes them feel ashamed.
REACH OUT FOR HELP
It is not necessary for everyone to have their family or friends besides them or they may not be the best resource but one is never alone. There are various organizations designed especially to help those suffering abuse in relationships.
There exist places owned by these organizations which provide emergency shelters to you and your family. They provide individual therapy, group therapy, providing food and clothing and help with the legal matter.
Preparing a strategy can help you have everything in place so that you can leave for your own good. Some of the guidelines are as follows:
Speak to someone trustworthy and let them know your plan. For example, making a code word for text if you are need help immediately
Documenting the abuse can be really helpful. Preserve any proof of physical abuse (like photos), a book of all incidences noting carefully events, dates, and threats), or a record of a doctor’s visit
Plans should be shared with children and they should be provided with reassurance that they should keep themselves safe and not try and protect you
You must be prepared if you plan to leave sooner than expected. You must make a plan immediately for such a situation-
Know the number of local battered shelter for women in your area
Park your car in the driveway, keeping it fueled. The driver’s door must be unlocked and other doors locked
Keep money aside with family or trusted friends
Pack a bag containing IDs, extra keys, birth certificates, social security cards, marriage license, credit cards, clothes, medications, shoes, banking information — anything which is significant to you and stores them at a friend or neighbor’s house
Have essential phone numbers noted somewhere except your phone
If you have time, also take titles, Citizenship documents, medical records, deeds, property information, insurance information, children’s immunization and school records, and welfare identification
STAYING SAFE AFTER YOU LEAVE
The need to be aware of your surroundings will not stop after you have left. You will want to make sure to check off these items once you have left so that you can be safe for a long time.
If the offender is preparing to leave and you receive a restraining order:
Alter your phone number and locks
Change your hours of work and the route taken to go to work
Alter the route to drop children to school
Keep a restraining order copy with you always
Inform employers, neighbors, and friends that you have an effective restraining order
Give its copies to friends, family, employees, neighbors, school authorities along with offender’s picture
For enforcing the order, contact law enforcement
If you are leaving the relationship:
Think about either using the address of a friend or renting a post office box for any of your mails. Be careful while giving your new phone number and address to someone
Keep the school authorities updated about the situation
Use different social spots and stores
Keep neighbors alerted, and request them to reach out to the police if they sense danger
Make arrangement for security systems
Inform people who take care of your children and who can pick up your children. Make them understand your condition and hand them with a restraining order copy
For caller ID, contact telephone company
-prepared by Harsimran Kaur of NewsGram. Twitter @Hkaur1025
Jan 16, 2017: All parents want their children to do well in life. They even dream and plan for their children before their birth. They want the best for their children. But when it comes to girls and boys, do parents have different hopes and standards? Yes, they do!
Most parents are more concerned about their son’s education than for their daughter’s. It is sad to see that some parents though educated, subconsciously think that the daughter will get married and leave while the son will be there for them.
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Sons are considered as a blessing, the person who will carry forward the legacy of the family. At some parts of the country, it is even said that “educating a daughter is like watering a plant sowed in someone else’s garden.”
There exists a double standard in dealing with sons and daughters. Girls are trained to be homemakers and brought up with a mentality that their main purpose in life is to take care of a husband and two children.
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On the other hand, sons are encouraged to be outgoing, to take part in sports and given all the liberties that girls are generally deprived of. They are brought up with a mentality that in the future they will be earning a living for their family.
It’s not that these families do not educate their daughters, they do but their focus is more on the boys. They are not bothered for their daughter as much as the son. The saddest part is that even educated families do this. They are willing to spend a good part of the family resources on the son’s career building but are not willing to do the same for their daughter, but they are willing to spend on the daughter’s marriage.
In many countries including ours, higher education is a privilege of the boys. Parents are unwilling to send their daughters to higher classes because they are physically mature. There exists an unexplainable fear that danger lurks behind them.
Even now parents do not appreciate their daughters freely mingling with classmates especially students of the opposite sex. There is a limitation in freedom of speech and freedom of expression. There is fear that if a girl is given freedom she may revolt and go against traditional beliefs and customs of the society in which first comes marriage to a person of her own choice.
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No matter how educated a person is- these are some customs that the society follows since time immemorial. Thus I conclude by saying that even in the twenty-first-century parents do have different hopes and expectations from sons and daughters.
Centre for Social Action (CSA) is the development wing of Christ University. Set up in 1999, it believes in strengthening student community with a view to enabling positive changes in the society. Athina Ann Thomas is a volunteer at the organisation.
New Delhi, August 31, 2016: Indian tourist, Manasi Chadha, 35, spent ten days holidaying in Spain along with six family members this summer. It is the third year in a row that she took an overseas vacation – Portugal and Italy were the earlier stops.
“Travel kind of opens up your thinking as well. You see a lot more instances of people actually venturing out, they share their experiences, so you tend to travel and try them out,” said Chadha, a senior executive with consultancy Accenture in New Delhi.
A decade of strong growth has put more money in the pockets of middle-class India while the growing numbers of working women like Chadha have added to disposable family incomes. And as budget airlines open up more routes from India, travel has become more affordable leading to a massive spurt in the number of Indians trawling the globe.
By 2020, the United Nations World Tourism Organization estimates the number of Indians heading overseas will grow to 50 million for both business and leisure travel.
Spain for example witnessed a three-fold rise in the number of Indian visitors in the last five years, while travelers to Australia and New Zealand nearly doubled.
As it sets out to woo more travelers, the Director of Spain’s Tourism Office in India, Ignacio Ducasse Gutirrez said, “India is positioned as one of our top emerging markets globally.” The European country witnessed a surge of Indian visitors after a blockbuster Bollywood movie “Zindagi Naa Milegi Dobara” was shot in the country showcasing its locales and festivals.
Bollywood has always had a strong influence on Indian travelers, prompting many countries such as Singapore, Ireland, and Australia to woo film producers to shoot films and television soaps in their countries.
Indian tourist tastes are changing
Travel industry professionals say that with higher incomes, travel preferences are also changing from group tours to more luxurious holidays. In New Zealand for example, experiences ranging from helicopter tours to lodge stays are now on the plate of Indian travelers, says Steven Dixon from South and South East Asia Tourism, New Zealand. That includes “adrenaline pumping activities such as jet boating and skydiving, or more luxurious activities such as scenic flights and cruises,” according to Dixon.
And although East Asia still remains a top favorite, time-tested destinations such as Singapore and Thailand or Britain and France in Europe have become passé, as Iîdians with higher incomes head out to more off-beat places. That includes places where few Indians visited earlier, such as Iceland, South America, Uzbekistan, and Croatia.
Wanting a different experience, Mumbai-based management consultant Ajai Mittal and a group of over 50 college alumni chose to go on a cruise of Baltic countries last summer. “It is not as predictable as going to the same places as Paris. There is enough written about them, enough heard about them, these are places which are small and relatively obscure,” said Mittal. He said he would like to explore more such destinations in the future.
However, many Indians chafe about cumbersome visa procedures, particularly for European countries where applying for the Schengen visa requires elaborate documentation. On the other hand, many East Asian countries have liberalized visa rules, allowing Indians to get a visa on arrival, which has helped boost tourism numbers.
Management consultant Ajai Mittal visits St. Petersburg during a cruise of Baltic countries along with more than 50 college alumni.
Indian women love to travel
Still, such woes are not curbing the enthusiasm of travelers, young or old. They include growing numbers of Indian women.
Sumitra Senapaty’s travel club “Women on Wanderlust” organizes all-women holidays to cater to women who want to strike out on their own. From just five trips a decade ago, she now organizes nearly 100 trips a year, with more than half headed overseas.
She said Indian women travelers have become more evolved and travel for many of them is no longer just a matter of ticking off a destination on one’s passport or visiting the usual hot spots.
In November, she is taking a group of 18 women to Peru, Chile, Argentina and the Galapagos in South America for a holiday that will cost upwards of $12,000. “There is an excitement about it. They look at traveling as not just a holiday, and not just as having fun, but as a way of life. They want to explore new cultures, they want to learn about it,” said Senapaty.
Other travel professionals agree that the Indian middle class is on the move, helping fuel the global travel boom from Asia. (VOA)