Thursday April 25, 2019
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Couples bad at picking up on partner’s sad feelings: Study

For the study, over 100 participants completed daily diaries about their mood and the mood of their partners for seven consecutive nights

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Couples have tough time understanding soft negative emotions like sadness, loneliness of each other: Study.
Couples have tough time understanding soft negative emotions .
  • Researchers have found that couples find it tough to identify negative soft emotions
  • Relationship related emotions can be identified more easily
  • The unidentified emotions can cause problems in relationships

Your spouse may react immediately when you feel anger, but is he/she equally good at knowing when you feel sad or lonely? No, suggests new research.

Couples do pretty well at picking up one another’s more intense feelings, like happiness or anger, but they are not as sensitive to “soft negative” emotions, said the study published in the journal Family Process. Couples do poorly when it comes to knowing their partner is sad, lonely or feeling down, the findings showed.

Couples do poorly when it comes to soft negative emotions of each other.
Couples do poorly when it comes to soft negative emotions of each other.

“We found that when it comes to the normal ebb and flow of daily emotions, couples aren’t picking up on those occasional changes in ‘soft negative’ emotions like sadness or feeling down,” said study lead author Chrystyna Kouros, Associate Professor at Southern Methodist University, Dallas, US.

The researchers believe that even when a negative mood is not related to the relationship, it ultimately can be harmful to a couple. “Failing to pick up on negative feelings one or two days is not a big deal,” Kouros said.

Also Read: Tamil Nadu to Build Safe Houses for Inter-Caste Couples

“But if this accumulates, then down the road it could become a problem for the relationship. It’s these missed opportunities to be offering support or talking it out that can compound over time to negatively affect a relationship,” she added.

For the study, over 100 participants completed daily diaries about their mood and the mood of their partners for seven consecutive nights. The problem is not one for which couples need to seek therapy, Kouros said.

Instead, she advises couples to stop assuming they know what their partner is feeling. “I suggest couples put a little more effort into paying attention to their partner — be more mindful and in the moment when you are with your partner,” she said.

She cautions, however, against becoming annoying by constantly asking how the other is feeling, or if something is wrong. IANS

Next Story

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner?

This issue can’t get fixed over a day. But if you be patient and show your partner that you are always with him/her, by supporting through problems, discussing fears, celebrating small but important victories, and take it one day at a time, things will definitely change.

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Anxiety and fear are the two most common human emotions that lead to jealousy.

How harmful is jealousy?

Jealousy is enough to kill a relationship. Although at the beginning of the relationship, you might feel jealousy to be cute, with the time you will be able to see the true negative picture of jealousy.

What can be done?

Here are certain ways to deal with a jealous partner:

  • You should talk to your partner about his/her anxieties and fears

Anxiety and fear are the two most common human emotions that lead to jealousy. So to deal with a jealous partner, the first thing you must do is talk to him/her that the reasons for his/her anxieties and fears with the relationship and you.

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Most importantly when your partner decides to confess, instead of attacking him/her, show your empathy and try to solve the issue. Pixabay

The reason can be anything from she’s putting up weight which makes her thinks that you don’t love him anymore to your past casual relationship which you ended years ago, reasons can be very weird. But most importantly when your partner decides to confess, instead of attacking him/her, show your empathy and try to solve the issue.

  • Never develop defensive behavior

If you are being accused by your partner for something which you actually haven’t done, don’t start an argument about it. The more get defensive, the chances are that your partner will misinterpret the reaction and think that you are defensive because you want to hide something. Instead, you should reassure your partner that you haven’t done what he/she accused you of doing and settle the fear that your partner has developed.

  • Show all your affection

It’s time for you to show all your affection towards your partner. No matter how rude he/she behaves, don’t deny showing your partner how much he/she means to you. This would definitely help your partner to psychologically heal faster .

  • Create a boundary

This is a very sensible way of handling a relationship. Discuss with your partner about the likes and dislikes of each other and set boundaries accordingly so that in the long run things don’t get ugly and hence there are no chances for the rise of jealousy.

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It’s time for you to show all your affection towards your partner. Pixabay
  • Be responsive and available to your partner

Yes, it is your partner’s problem and he/she is the one to fix it. But instead of avoiding the issue be responsive about it. When your partner needs you the most, if you make yourself available for any help then the habits of jealousy often gets eroded. This also would help to redevelop the trust issues in the relationship.

  • Be patient to earn your back partner’s trust

This issue can’t get fixed over a day. But if you be patient and show your partner that you are always with him/her, by supporting through problems, discussing fears, celebrating small but important victories, and take it one day at a time, things will definitely change.

  • Make sure there isn’t a communication gap

Communication gap is the poison that spoils everything. The root of all fears, anxieties and doubts are because of communication gap. To develop healthy communication and make time for your partner. There won’t be any scope for jealousy to be created.

A jealous partner, in the long run, becomes intrusive and irritating. This is enough to spoil the love that you have for your partner and ultimately affect your relationship in a negative way. So try to sort out the issue and if all the damage-control measures fail, then it’s better to move out of the relationship.