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Girls, are you Looking for a Guy your Parents Would Approve? Here Are 10 Reasons why you Should give the ‘Nice’ Guys a Chance!
New Delhi, September 22, 2017 : “He was …. nice.” That is what our girl friends usually tell us about a guy they go out on a date with, don’t they?
Over a conversation that lasts 30 minutes, they go on and on about how he was at the restaurant before she reached, pulled out the chair for her. Allowed her to order food, opened doors for her, and even showed interest when she mentioned her dog (We don’t know about you, but a guy who loves dogs? Yes please!) All this, but he was just ‘nice’.
Does she plan to see him soon? She “doesn’t know”.
Our society has created a negative image of the ‘nice guys.’ It is a way to describe someone who is timid, subtle in his efforts, and inexperienced. Or, from what we have understood from conversations, “not that interesting.” He’s just “nice.”
In an attempt to find our perfect match, we often immediately ignore such ‘nice’ guys we encounter on the way. It’s not very difficult, especially when the players are irresistible, look dreamy and have just the right words to say. But little do we know, by immediately ignoring the Beeba Munda (nice guy), we could be overlooking the ‘good’ guy we are on the look out for.
Take it from a single girl (yes, we know better about relationships than those in it), the next time you’re on a date and begin to realize how ‘nice’ this guy is, you must start to recognize the following positive qualities instead of immediately eliminating all future chances,
They Invest Their Mind In You
They will keep a note of your schedule, ask about that meeting you were worried about and make sure they listen to you rant about how you dislike your job and how your mother never understands you. Be sure to always be in their thought and rightfully so.
They Notice The Little Things
Not just to what we say (that’s a basic, though), but to how we do the things we do and all our little quirks. They notice how you like having pizza crusts, follows up on that presentation you were nervous about and makes sure to check during the day if you’re doing good. These gestures show how genuinely interested he is, that he cares to know her better. (Ah, this is what dreams are made of)
They Motivate You To Be A Better Person
They will remind you to call your parents, never stop you from gorging on junk food but will make sure you eat your greens too. Nice guys make sure they include you in their plans which are, nice too.
They Will Be Totally Trustworthy
Well, they are called nice guys for a reason, right? The absence of trust in a relationship never allows for a rock solid foundation. How will a relationship survive then?
Nice guys won’t lie, cheat, manipulate or play games with you. They will not just be your partner; they will be your best friend.
They Give You Something Real
Wasting time on the wrong guys can be exhausting. They make you question yourself, leave you hanging and you often feel an urge to give up on the entire idea of dating.
Nice guys, on the other hand, will be everything you would want in your partner. They will be honest, and will not shy away from accepting they are wrong. You will see sincere affection in their actions and they will stand by you for all the right reasons.
They are Perfectly Imperfect
He may not have 6-pack abs, but he’ll have shoulders strong enough for a warm embrace. He may not be the tallest, but he’ll be tall enough to help you pick out jars from shelves you cannot reach. He may not be impeccably dressed, but he will invest time and effort to put his best forward. Someone who is not just aware of, but is okay with his imperfections and doesn’t try to hide them.
Nice guys are just that – they understand their shortcomings and know just how to work with them in their stride.
They Restore Your Faith
Dating the players can be exhausting and disheartening. But just when you thought you should give up on the idea of dating, you meet a nice guy. And he turns out to be everything you had ever wished for.
Even at your worst, he will love and support you just the same as when you are at your best. Yes, not all guys suck and opening yourself to the right guy will restore your faith and prove that real relationships do exist, after all.
They Have Been Friend-Zoned Before
Nice guys have their fair share of time spent in friends-only territory, and they know a thing or two about listening to women, giving them advice and helping them through tough times. All these qualities are the kind of thing we look for in our potential partners.
They Make Us Want The Happy Ending
All of us dream of a ‘happily ever after’ but if we keep choosing the wrong guy and getting our heart broken repeatedly, it can be difficult to keep that dream alive. Sure, we have all had bad dates, failed relationships and almost-relationships but when you find the right guy, he proves why it has all been worth the wait
They Change Our Type
Whether we admit it or not, nice guys are usually not on the top of our desired list. After all, there is something irresistible about a smooth talker, and we often have trouble breaking away from guys who spell total trouble. But once you are open to something new, you realize it was not that bad to give the nice guy a shot..
"In India, to be born as a man is a crime, to question a woman is an atrocious crime, and this all because of those women who keep suppressing men in the name of feminism."
Feminism, a worldwide movement that started to establish, define and defend equal rights for women in all sections- economically, politically, and socially. India, being a patriarchal society gives a gender advantage to the men in the society thus, Indian feminists sought to fight against the culture-specific issue for women in India. Feminism itself is nothing but a simple movement that pursues equal rights for women (including transwomen) and against misogyny both external and internal. It states nowhere that women should get more wages than men, that women deserve more respect than men, that's pseudo-feminism.
Pseudo feminists state that women deserve more respect and rights, any other gender deserves no respect. They feel that women should be the ones ruling the world and at higher positions. When feminism takes a turn for extremities it becomes pseudo-feminism and people who label themselves as feminists will bash anyone who speaks against even the wrongdoings of a woman. They'll bash women who're wife and sisters for not speaking up and support any women criticizing political leaders even if it's completely irrational. This is where hypocrisy and pseudo-feminism merge with each other.
They take advantage of the rights given to women to protect themselves to threaten other genders. The rights given to women are supposed to make them feel reassured that they can reach out to the judiciary if their rights are being hampered not to threaten to make the victim sound like the culprit.
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Indian Feminist Movement has made significant progress however, even in the modern world women are still unsafe and are discriminated against when it comes to getting a job, land ownership, and access to education. While filling the official papers it is still asked "Wife of /Daughter of:….."
People in India still continue the practice of sex-selective abortion, abandoning the girl child, not letting girl child study instead they should learn household chores, they are seen as a burden to the family. Such injustices make feminism such an important movement, gender equality is worth fighting for to create a safe environment for women. Feminists over the years have been criticized for focusing on the rights of privileged women and not giving equal representation to poorer and lower caste women, which has led to separate caste-specific feminist organizations and movements.
Some notable milestones in the Feminist Movement
- Raja Ram Mohan Roy campaigned against Sati Pratha (practice in which a widow sacrificed herself by sitting atop her deceased husband's funeral pyre) and child marriage
- Savitribai Phule started the first school for girls at Bhidewada in Pune city in 1848.
- In 1972, SEWA, the biggest trade union for women was set up by Ela Bhatt for women working in the informal sector.
- The Chipko Movement was launched and led by women in 1973.
- #MeToo movement against sexual harassment and abuse was started in 2006 and revived in the year 2015.
People in India still continue the practice of sex-selective abortion, abandoning the girl child, not letting girl child study instead they should learn household chores, they are seen as a burden to the family.Unsplash
Feminism is often misunderstood as pseudo-feminism and hence, becomes the target for public hatred and is accused of wronging other genders under the façade of feminism. It is misunderstood by Indians as female domination instead of gender equality. Indian society and Indian feminists believe that only men are perpetrators of a heinous crime like rape and they refuse to even recognize the men who say they were raped and it's the toxic masculinity in the society that believes how can a woman rape a man? Reality is different from what we believe, women can be the perpetrator too, women threaten to file a case of domestic violence, or sexual assault against innocent people just to fulfill their ego.
Thankfully feminism and pseudo feminism are two separate concepts and feminism is just about equality and not judgment. Indian society and feminists actually need to understand the difference between the two and stop tarnishing the Feminist Movement as a whole.
Keywords: Feminism, World, India, Pseudo-Feminism, Gender
Kerala is a land of many good things. It has an abundance of nature, culture, art, and food. It is also a place of legend and myth, and is known for its popular folklore, the legend of Yakshi. This is not a popular tale outside the state, but it is common knowledge for travellers, especially those who fare through forests at night.
The legend of the yakshi is believed to be India's equivalent of the Romanian Dracula, except of course, the Yakshi is a female. Many Malayalis believe that the Yakshi wears a white saree and had long hair. She has a particular fragrance, which is believed to be the fragrance of the Indian devil-tree flowers. She seduces travellers with her beauty, and kills them brutally.
Yakshi idol in Veroor, Sri Dharamashastha temple Image source: wikimedia commons
The Yakshi is believed to live in a palm tree which can appear like a palace. Victims are taken here before they are killed. Travellers on highways are often advised not to stop near heavily forested areas, or speak to anyone who closely resembles a Yakshi. Some believe she can change form, while other hold to the belief that she doesn't. after securing her victim, the only trace left behind is body parts like hair, nails, and teeth.
They say, like other ghosts, a Yakshi's feet will not touch the ground. This is something to look out for. Mysterious deaths have been reported across the rural areas in Kerala, and all these have been attributed to the legend.
Keywords: Legends, Yakshi, Urban legend, Ghost, Kerala, Myth, Vampire
The LGBTQ+ acronym stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and others. In India LGBTQ+ community also include a specific social group, part religious cult, and part caste: the Hijras. They are culturally defined either as "neither men nor women" or as men who become women by adopting women's dress and behavior. Section 377 of the India Penal code that criminalized all sexual acts "against the order of nature" i.e. engaging in oral sex or anal sex along with other homosexual activities were against the law, ripping homosexual people off of their basic human rights. Thus, the Indian Supreme Court ruled a portion of Section 377 unconstitutional on 6th September 2018.
But the question is, "was India always against homosexuality"? Has the concept of homosexuality being unnatural existed forever? No, in Indian history and Hinduism homosexuality has never been an offense, in fact in several instances it has been depicted how people embraced their identity, be it sexual identity or gender identity. Section 377 was brought to India by the British in 1862, while India was colonized. Even after the Independence, it was only in 2018 that the Supreme Court ruled it as irrational and illogical.
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Homosexuality in Ancient India
When Supreme Court decriminalized homosexuality in India, there was an uproar about it being a western ideology and liberalism. But in reality, homosexuality has existed since the time of the Vedas. The Gay and Lesbian Vaishnava Association (GALVA) researched and discovered that it was around 3102 B.C. (during the Vedic Age) that homosexuality or non-normative sexual identity was recognized as "Tritiya Prakriti", or the third nature. Ancient India not only made mentions of homosexuality but accepted it as well.
Hinduism is the most vastly followed religion in India. Hinduism does not explicitly mention homosexuality however it does contain a homosexual theme and characters in its text. There have been various instances in our scriptures and texts that have introduced us to LGBT+ characters such as the androgynous form of Shiva and Parvati Ardhanariswara meaning "the half-female lord". One of the most popular and ancient texts on sexuality, eroticism, and emotional fulfillment of life, "Kamasutra" has a complete chapter dedicated to homosexuality and homosexual sex. Numerous Hindu sculptures and temples have statues depicting homosexual activities.
Numerous Hindu sculptures and temples have statues depicting homosexual activities. Facebook
Our Mughals were Queer
Mughals are often seen under the light of cruelty, rigid ethics, nobility, and polygamy. Simultaneously, Mughals are also the ones credited for the emergence of Sufism, abolished jizya tax, love beyond religion, classes, and gender.
In the Baburnama written in memoirs of our very first Mughal ruler Muhammad Babur, several instances documented Babur's infatuation and affection towards a teenage boy named Baburi. We also have multiple Persian couplets as evidence of Babur's affection for Baburi. Mughals engaged in homosexuality and pederasty, and they believed that later was a form of "pure love".
But as time passed homosexuality was suppressed more and more though people practiced it in secret if revealed they were punished. According to the Fatwa-e-Alamgiri Sharia-based text of the Mughal Empire, there is a common set of punishments for homosexuality, which could include 50 lashes for a slave, 100 for a free infidel, or death by stoning for a Muslim.
British Raj and Independence of India
In 1862, Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code that criminalized homosexual sex came into force. Even after Independence in 1947, the section remained a part of the Indian Constitution. There were protests all over the country to give people of the LGBT+ community basic human rights but it was not until 2018 that The Supreme Court of India ruled the portion of Section 377 has unconstitutional and struck it off. One judge said the landmark decision would "pave the way for a better future.". With Section 377 gone are LGBT+ people allowed to fall in love freely? No, people are still afraid to love because of the stigma in our society when it comes to homosexuality; they are seen as lesser humans.
ALSO READ: Significant Support for Rights for LGBTQ+
Although the Supreme Court has decriminalized homosexual activities, same-sex marriage remains illegal in the country. Homophobia is still prevalent in India, and homosexual children would rather commit suicide than come out to society with their true identity, that's how harsh of a world we live in. Lacking support from family, society, or police, many gay rape victims do not report the crimes. In 1977, writer and Indian mathematician Shakuntla Devi published "The World of Homosexuals". It was the first study in the Indian context; the book contains interviews with homosexual men set in the years of Emergency. She wrote, "rather than pretending that homosexuals don't exist it is time we face the facts squarely in the eye and find room for homosexual people." We've had small victories in our fight against homophobia and getting LGBT+ community the rights they deserve as humans, but we still have a long and exhausting fight ahead of us.