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Fill This Form To Be Reincarnated In China (The Funny Side)

Fill up a form for reincarnation in China

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China launches new communication satellite. Pixabay
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A woman in China said recently that her dead husband had returned to their home reincarnated as a young cow. It behaves just like him, said Khim Hang, 74, from the Kratie province of Cambodia, without going into detail.

Sounds legit. Since cows divide their time between eating, pooping and sleeping, you can totally see they can remind people of married men.

“The young cow was born in March and has attracted a strong following on social media,” Reuters reported. How depressing it is to read that even farm animals have better web skills than this columnist and his peers.

the image of Reincarnation
FILE IMAGE – Reincarnation

Reincarnation was on my mind after several recent references to it in the media. For example, one news story was headlined: “Pig in Australia steals 18 beers, gets drunk and fights cow”. Reader Mark Agee wrote: “I never believed in reincarnation before but… Dad?”

Then a reader sent me a photo of a sign affixed to the tiger sanctuary in a zoo somewhere in India: “Only those who strongly believe in rebirth should risk going near.”

On the Western side of the planet, newspapers reported the sad news that the delightful Carey Williams, author of books on reincarnation, “passed away” in the first week of March. Surely “took a break” would make more sense? Indeed, I’ve heard it said that tombstones of people who believe in reincarnation should not say “RIP” (Rest In Peace) but “BRB” (Be Right Back).

One of my male friends says that the existence of feminism is proof of rebirth: “Feminists are when guys get reincarnated as women.” I don’t know about his next life but I suspect his current one may be rather on the short side.

Also Read: Kim Jong Un Reportedly on Visit to China

Now here’s the curious thing. Birth rates in the West and the Far East have plummeted while they are rising in South Asia and Africa. So if a Westerner, say Donald Trump, gets reincarnated, there’s a 75 per cent chance he’ll be Asian or African. Hope he’s cool with that. The food in Mumbai’s better than Western “food”, anyway.

In China, the law says that tulkus (Buddhist teachers who have lived at least one past life) must have filled in a Reincarnation Application Form and had it approved in their previous life. I am not making this up. Look up China’s State Religious Affairs Bureau Order No.5 if you don’t believe me.

This writer struggles to believe in reincarnation, but has lots of friends who do.

“Dying people see a light at the end of the tunnel — that’s you being born into your next life,” explained the friend mentioned above.

Wish to travel to China after reading the story?
A woman travelling to China. Pixabay

I told him that was even more depressing! After years of toil on earth, surely you deserve at least a couple of weeks’ holiday somewhere (say the heavenly version of an Ibiza nightclub) before rebirth? Life is exhausting.

Unless of course you’re a pet cow, and only having to divide your time between sleeping, pooping and eating. Maybe Khim Hang’s husband has got the right idea.

If one gets to choose, I would be reborn as a potato. My wife could put me on the sofa, and voila: Everything back to just how it was.

(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments via his Facebook page)  IANS

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Apple Launches a $300 Million Fund to Bring Clean Energy to China

In September 2016, Apple opened its first China R&D centre in Beijing's Zhongguancun Science Park, often referred to as "China's Silicon Valley"

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The China Clean Energy Fund will be managed through a third party, DWS Group, which specialises in sustainable investments and will also invest in the fund, Apple said.
The China Clean Energy Fund will be managed through a third party, DWS Group, which specialises in sustainable investments and will also invest in the fund, Apple said. Pixabay

Amid heightened trade tensions between the US and China, tech giant Apple has joined hands with its suppliers to launch a $300 million clean energy fund in China.

The “China Clean Energy Fund” will invest in and develop clean-energy projects totalling more than 1 gigawatt of renewable energy in China, the equivalent of powering nearly 1 million homes, Apple said in a statement on Thursday.

“At Apple, we are proud to join with companies that are stepping up to address the climate challenge,” said Lisa Jackson, Apple’s Vice President of Environment, Policy and Social Initiatives.

The Cupertino, California-headquartered tech giant said 10 of its initial suppliers have come forward to jointly invest in the nearly $300 million fund over the next four years.

“We’re thrilled so many of our suppliers are participating in the fund and hope this model can be replicated globally to help businesses of all sizes make a significant positive impact on our planet,” Jackson said.

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Apple in 2017 announced it would invest nearly $500 million in China to build two new R&D centres in Shanghai and Suzhou. Pixabay

By virtue of its size and scale, the China Clean Energy Fund will give its participants the advantage of greater purchasing power and the ability to attain more attractive and diverse clean energy solutions.

The China Clean Energy Fund will be managed through a third party, DWS Group, which specialises in sustainable investments and will also invest in the fund, Apple said.

Also Read: Apple Updates MacBook Pro with Faster Performance And New Features for Pros

The announcement to invest in the clean energy fund in China follows Apple’s announcement earlier in 2018 that its global facilities are powered by 100 per cent clean energy and the launch of its Supplier Clean Energy Programme in 2015.

Apple in 2017 announced it would invest nearly $500 million in China to build two new R&D centres in Shanghai and Suzhou.

In September 2016, Apple opened its first China R&D centre in Beijing’s Zhongguancun Science Park, often referred to as “China’s Silicon Valley”. (IANS)