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Fill This Form To Be Reincarnated In China (The Funny Side)

Fill up a form for reincarnation in China

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The flag of China.
China's Flag. Pixabay
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A woman in China said recently that her dead husband had returned to their home reincarnated as a young cow. It behaves just like him, said Khim Hang, 74, from the Kratie province of Cambodia, without going into detail.

Sounds legit. Since cows divide their time between eating, pooping and sleeping, you can totally see they can remind people of married men.

“The young cow was born in March and has attracted a strong following on social media,” Reuters reported. How depressing it is to read that even farm animals have better web skills than this columnist and his peers.

the image of Reincarnation
FILE IMAGE – Reincarnation

Reincarnation was on my mind after several recent references to it in the media. For example, one news story was headlined: “Pig in Australia steals 18 beers, gets drunk and fights cow”. Reader Mark Agee wrote: “I never believed in reincarnation before but… Dad?”

Then a reader sent me a photo of a sign affixed to the tiger sanctuary in a zoo somewhere in India: “Only those who strongly believe in rebirth should risk going near.”

On the Western side of the planet, newspapers reported the sad news that the delightful Carey Williams, author of books on reincarnation, “passed away” in the first week of March. Surely “took a break” would make more sense? Indeed, I’ve heard it said that tombstones of people who believe in reincarnation should not say “RIP” (Rest In Peace) but “BRB” (Be Right Back).

One of my male friends says that the existence of feminism is proof of rebirth: “Feminists are when guys get reincarnated as women.” I don’t know about his next life but I suspect his current one may be rather on the short side.

Also Read: Kim Jong Un Reportedly on Visit to China

Now here’s the curious thing. Birth rates in the West and the Far East have plummeted while they are rising in South Asia and Africa. So if a Westerner, say Donald Trump, gets reincarnated, there’s a 75 per cent chance he’ll be Asian or African. Hope he’s cool with that. The food in Mumbai’s better than Western “food”, anyway.

In China, the law says that tulkus (Buddhist teachers who have lived at least one past life) must have filled in a Reincarnation Application Form and had it approved in their previous life. I am not making this up. Look up China’s State Religious Affairs Bureau Order No.5 if you don’t believe me.

This writer struggles to believe in reincarnation, but has lots of friends who do.

“Dying people see a light at the end of the tunnel — that’s you being born into your next life,” explained the friend mentioned above.

Wish to travel to China after reading the story?
A woman travelling to China. Pixabay

I told him that was even more depressing! After years of toil on earth, surely you deserve at least a couple of weeks’ holiday somewhere (say the heavenly version of an Ibiza nightclub) before rebirth? Life is exhausting.

Unless of course you’re a pet cow, and only having to divide your time between sleeping, pooping and eating. Maybe Khim Hang’s husband has got the right idea.

If one gets to choose, I would be reborn as a potato. My wife could put me on the sofa, and voila: Everything back to just how it was.

(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments via his Facebook page)  IANS

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China Firms Pledge To End Sexist Job Ads

'Men preferred': China tech firms pledge to end sexist job ads after damning report

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FILE - Visitors use their smartphones underneath the logo of Tencent at the Global Mobile Internet Conference in Beijing, May 6, 2014.
FILE - Visitors use their smartphones underneath the logo of Tencent at the Global Mobile Internet Conference in Beijing, May 6, 2014. VOA

Chinese tech firms pledged on Monday to tackle gender bias in recruitment after a rights group said they routinely favored male candidates, luring applicants with the promise of working with “beautiful girls” in job advertisements.

A Human Rights Watch (HRW) report found that major technology companies including Alibaba, Baidu and Tencent had widely used “gender discriminatory job advertisements,” which said men were preferred or specifically barred women applicants.

Also Read: Fill This Form To Be Reincarnated In China (The Funny Side)

Some ads promised candidates they would work with “beautiful girls” and “goddesses,” HRW said in a report based on an analysis of 36,000 job posts between 2013 and 2018.

Tencent, which runs China’s most popular messenger app WeChat, apologized for the ads after the HRW report was published on Monday.

“We are sorry they occurred and we will take swift action to ensure they do not happen again,” a Tencent spokesman told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

FILE - The Alibaba logo is displayed at the New York Stock Exchange, in New York.
FILE – The Alibaba logo is displayed at the New York Stock Exchange, in New York. VOA

E-commerce giant Alibaba, founded by billionaire Jack Ma, vowed to conduct stricter reviews to ensure its job ads followed workplace equality principles, but refused to say whether the ads singled out in the report were still being used.

“Our track record of not just hiring but promoting women in leadership positions speaks for itself,” said a spokeswoman.

Baidu, the Chinese equivalent of search engine Google, meanwhile said the postings were “isolated instances.”

Also Read: China And Russia Accused of Manipulating Their Currencies By Trump

HRW urged Chinese authorities to take action to end discriminatory hiring practices.

Its report also found nearly one in five ads for Chinese government jobs this year were “men only” or “men preferred.”

“Sexist job ads pander to the antiquated stereotypes that persist within Chinese companies,” HRW China director Sophie Richardson said in a statement.

“These companies pride themselves on being forces of modernity and progress, yet they fall back on such recruitment strategies, which shows how deeply entrenched discrimination against women remains in China,” she added.

China was ranked 100 out of 144 countries in the World Economic Forum’s 2017 Gender Gap Report, after it said the country’s progress towards gender parity has slowed.  VOA