Sunday October 20, 2019
Home Lead Story Happy Couple&...

Happy Couple’s Formula To Resolving Conflicts, Optimistically

While all couples tend to fight on issues like children, money, and in-laws, researchers say that what distinguishes happy couples from others

0
//
Couples, Relationship, Conflicts, Resolve, Happy
The researchers also found that couples who were married longer reported fewer serious issues and argued less overall. Pixabay

While all couples tend to fight on issues like children, money, and in-laws, researchers say that what distinguishes happy couples from others is their approach to conflicts.

“Happy couples tend to take a solution-oriented approach to conflict and this is clear even in the topics that they choose to discuss,” said study lead author Amy Rauer, Associate Professor at the University of Tennessee in the US.

For the study, published in the journal Family Process, the research team observed two samples of heterosexual, mostly white, educated couples who described themselves as happily married.

Fifty-seven of the couples were in their mid- to late 30s and had been married for an average of nine years; 64 of the couples were in their early 70s and had been married for an average of 42 years.

The couples were asked to rank their most and least serious issues.

Couples, Relationship, Conflicts, Resolve, Happy
Marital conflict between a couple (representation). Pixabay

While intimacy, leisure, household, health, communication and money were the most serious for the older couples, couples in both samples ranked jealousy, religion and family as the least serious.

When researchers observed couples discussing marital problems, all couples focused on issues with clearer solutions, such as the distribution of household labour and how to spend leisure time.

The couples rarely chose to argue about issues that are more difficult to resolve, researchers said, adding that this strategic decision may be one of the keys to their marital success.

“Focusing on the perpetual, more-difficult-to-solve problems may undermine partners’ confidence in the relationship,” Rauer said.

ALSO READ: Lack of Sleep Alters Fat Metabolism, Says Study

The study also found that focusing first on more solvable problems may be an effective way to build up both partners’ sense of security in the relationship.

“If couples feel that they can work together to resolve their issues, it may give them the confidence to move on to tackling the more difficult issues,” Rauer said.

The researchers also found that couples who were married longer reported fewer serious issues and argued less overall.

“Being able to successfully differentiate between issues that need to be resolved versus those that can be laid aside for now may be one of the keys to a long-lasting, happy relationship,” Rauer added. (IANS)

Next Story

Top Priority In Any Relationship Is Kindness, Study Suggests

One of the top qualities that people look for in a long-term relationship is kindness, research suggests

0
relationship, kindness, priority, study, couples
While traits like physical attractiveness and financial prospects were important, the one that was given the highest priority was kindness. Pixabay

One of the top qualities that people look for in a long-term relationship is kindness, a new research suggests.

For the study published in the Journal of Personality, the research team picked over 2,700 college students from across the globe and asked them to build themselves an ideal lifelong partner by using a fixed budget to ‘buy’ characteristics.

While traits like physical attractiveness and financial prospects were important, the one that was given the highest priority was kindness, said the researchers.

“Looking at very different culture groups allows us to test the idea that some behaviours are human universals. If men and women act in a similar way across the globe, then this adds weight to the idea that some behaviours develop in spite of culture rather than because of it,” said study principle researcher Andrew G. Thomas from Swansea University in Britain.

The study compared the dating preferences of students from Eastern countries including Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong, and Western countries such as the UK, Norway and Australia.

relationship, kindness, priority, study, couples
Students were given eight attributes they could spend ‘mate dollars’ on physical attractiveness, good financial prospects, kindness, humour, chastity, religiosity, the desire for children and creativity.
Pixabay

Students were given eight attributes they could spend ‘mate dollars’ on physical attractiveness, good financial prospects, kindness, humour, chastity, religiosity, the desire for children and creativity.

ALSO READ: Here’s What You Can Do To Undo Damage From Prolonged Sitting

People typically spent 22-26 per cent of their total budget on kindness and large parts of their budget on physical attractiveness and good financial prospects, while traits like creativity and chastity received less than 10 per cent.

The results also showed a difference in a partner’s desire for children, which was a priority only for Western women. (IANS)