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How to Make Sure You’re Date-Ready?

If you’ve just come out of a relationship, you might not be in the best frame of mind to go looking for another one

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How to Make Sure You're Date-Ready
This article is on "How to Make Sure You're Date-Ready".

At different times in life, you reach a moment where you want to start a new relationship.
Perhaps you’ve been in a long-term partnership that’s come to an end, or maybe you’ve been single for a while but now feel there’s time in your life for some dating – and who knows where it will lead.

Once you’ve decided you want to find someone to go out with, there’s a possibility you
might rush things and start dating random people where there’s little chance of it developing into anything meaningful. While you may be ok with this concept to start with, you may regret it longer-term. Instead take a step back and think about what you want before you start trying to find a date. But how exactly do you do that?

The way to approach it

Representational image.
Representational image. Pixabay

Before you think about finding people to date, it’s a good idea to run a quick status check – are you the kind of person you’d like to be dating? There’s no point throwing yourself into the dating market if you’re not going to give off the right vibes and are someone that others want to be around.

If you’ve just come out of a relationship, you might not be in the best frame of mind to go looking for another one. Take things slowly, and don’t feel that you have to get straight back into the dating game.

Make sure that you feel good about yourself. This might be a combination of both your physical appearance and your outlook on life. You could think about changing your hairstyle or updating your wardrobe, or getting down to the gym to get in shape. Treat yourself to a mini-makeover and you’ll get a boost from doing so. We’re not talking about drastic changes here; just taking the chance to give yourself a fresh new look, maybe something you’d always wanted to try. By doing so, you’ll feel good about yourself and that in itself makes you more attractive to others.

Representational image.
Representational image. Pixabay

More fundamental is your perspective on life. If you tend to be one of life’s grumblers, this could be something that puts people off going out with you. While you might not be able to change your circumstances, you can change the way you view them. For instance, don’t see a big workload as a drag, look at it as an opportunity to show your colleagues (and your boss) how capable you are. Attacking your day with gusto will actually make it go better. Similarly, if you’re surrounded by people who moan about life, that negativity can rub off on you. Decide whether you need to expand your social circle and find some people who are more fun to be with. The more optimistic you are, exuding cheerfulness and positive energy, the more attractive a proposition you will be.

You feel ready – so how do you meet new people?

While you might feel ready to find a new partner, you need to create opportunities to meet new people. Of course, maybe your friends already have the perfect person they want to match up you up with, but the chances of the two of you hitting it off and becoming an item are slim, so you will probably need more ways of running into like-minded people.

If you’re into your fitness, the gym or running track can be a great place to meet new people. And you’ll have a mutual interest straight away. Even if you’re new to the world of working out and don’t want to go into a gym just yet, there are always less strenuous alternatives like joining a yoga class or trying out pilates. Going at a regular time every week will increase your chances of running into the same people and getting to know them before and after class.

Of course, there are many apps that give you ways of connecting with new people, whether you go for an out and out dating one, or one like Badoo that’s also about hooking up to socialize with people who are in your local area, as well as finding a potential date. The great advantage of online dating is that you get to have a good look at a person’s profile before deciding if you want to meet up with them. While it may lack some of the mystique of a blind date, there’s a lower chance of going to meet someone who you won’t enjoy hanging out with.

"Caught in action! They took a photo of o" (CC BY-SA 2.0) byShockingly Tasty
“Caught in action! They took a photo of o” (CC BY-SA 2.0) byShockingly Tasty

Another way to tap into a new social circle is to make use of a prop like a cute dog. Have you noticed how sociable dog owners always seem to be with other people walking their dogs in the park? If you don’t have your own dog, you could always borrow a friend’s dog and see who you run into. Of course, kids are great ice-breakers too, so don’t forget if you’re already a parent, you might meet other people in a similar boat to you when you’re out having fun with the kids. You never know when you and a potential partner’s paths might cross.

It’s not always necessary to focus on searching for someone; you might find someone while you’re doing something entirely altruistic – like helping out in a local community event or if you volunteer on a regular basis. If you enjoy helping out others, you’ll be spending time with other likeminded people, and even if none of your contacts turns out to be a romantic one, you’ll be widening the possibilities of meeting other new people as your social circle grows.

Relax and stop looking

If you’ve made up your mind that you need to find someone to date or perhaps start a long-term relationship with, you immediately put a level of expectation that it will happen and subconsciously put pressure on yourself. But love’s not like that; it doesn’t come along just because you want it to. Instead, take a step back and try not to worry about what’s going to happen. Focus on making the most out of your free time, meeting new people and doing new things. Romance may blossom somewhere along the line, but even if it doesn’t your life will become more interesting and more fun.

Next Story

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner?

This issue can’t get fixed over a day. But if you be patient and show your partner that you are always with him/her, by supporting through problems, discussing fears, celebrating small but important victories, and take it one day at a time, things will definitely change.

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relationship
Anxiety and fear are the two most common human emotions that lead to jealousy.

How harmful is jealousy?

Jealousy is enough to kill a relationship. Although at the beginning of the relationship, you might feel jealousy to be cute, with the time you will be able to see the true negative picture of jealousy.

What can be done?

Here are certain ways to deal with a jealous partner:

  • You should talk to your partner about his/her anxieties and fears

Anxiety and fear are the two most common human emotions that lead to jealousy. So to deal with a jealous partner, the first thing you must do is talk to him/her that the reasons for his/her anxieties and fears with the relationship and you.

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Most importantly when your partner decides to confess, instead of attacking him/her, show your empathy and try to solve the issue. Pixabay

The reason can be anything from she’s putting up weight which makes her thinks that you don’t love him anymore to your past casual relationship which you ended years ago, reasons can be very weird. But most importantly when your partner decides to confess, instead of attacking him/her, show your empathy and try to solve the issue.

  • Never develop defensive behavior

If you are being accused by your partner for something which you actually haven’t done, don’t start an argument about it. The more get defensive, the chances are that your partner will misinterpret the reaction and think that you are defensive because you want to hide something. Instead, you should reassure your partner that you haven’t done what he/she accused you of doing and settle the fear that your partner has developed.

  • Show all your affection

It’s time for you to show all your affection towards your partner. No matter how rude he/she behaves, don’t deny showing your partner how much he/she means to you. This would definitely help your partner to psychologically heal faster .

  • Create a boundary

This is a very sensible way of handling a relationship. Discuss with your partner about the likes and dislikes of each other and set boundaries accordingly so that in the long run things don’t get ugly and hence there are no chances for the rise of jealousy.

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It’s time for you to show all your affection towards your partner. Pixabay
  • Be responsive and available to your partner

Yes, it is your partner’s problem and he/she is the one to fix it. But instead of avoiding the issue be responsive about it. When your partner needs you the most, if you make yourself available for any help then the habits of jealousy often gets eroded. This also would help to redevelop the trust issues in the relationship.

  • Be patient to earn your back partner’s trust

This issue can’t get fixed over a day. But if you be patient and show your partner that you are always with him/her, by supporting through problems, discussing fears, celebrating small but important victories, and take it one day at a time, things will definitely change.

  • Make sure there isn’t a communication gap

Communication gap is the poison that spoils everything. The root of all fears, anxieties and doubts are because of communication gap. To develop healthy communication and make time for your partner. There won’t be any scope for jealousy to be created.

A jealous partner, in the long run, becomes intrusive and irritating. This is enough to spoil the love that you have for your partner and ultimately affect your relationship in a negative way. So try to sort out the issue and if all the damage-control measures fail, then it’s better to move out of the relationship.