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Say ‘No’ To Abuse: Here are 4 Ways to Exit a Toxic Relationship!

Learn ways to exit an abusive relationship safely

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Toxic Relationship
Ways to exit a toxic relationship safely. Pixabay
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  • One should accept one’s presence in an abusive relationship
  • Make arrangements to flee and keep your family safe
  • Reach out organizations created for this purpose

July 19, 2017: People comfort themselves by giving various reasons to justify staying in an abusive relationship but one of the common excuses is fear. Fear of an emotional breakdown, fear of physical violence, fear of not being able to leave the relationship safely,  fear of instability, or fear of being unable to survive on our own. However, one can easily overcome such fears. There exist ways to safely exit a toxic relationship and putting a red light on domestic violence. The following tips can help one overcome the trauma that one has been going through.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF ABUSE

Firstly, one needs to acknowledge the fact that one is experiencing abuse in their relationship. There can be different types of abuse, for instance, sexual, physical, mental, financial, or a combination. It is essential for the victim to accept that they are not being treated properly as it can enable them with the power to exit even if the situation makes them feel ashamed.

REACH OUT FOR HELP

It is not necessary for everyone to have their family or friends besides them or they may not be the best resource but one is never alone. There are various organizations designed especially to help those suffering abuse in relationships.

There exist places owned by these organizations which provide emergency shelters to you and your family. They provide individual therapy, group therapy, providing food and clothing and help with the legal matter.

ALSO READ: Violence against Women and Girls Imposes Large-scale Costs on Families, Communities, and Economies, says UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

CREATE AN EXIT STRATEGY

Preparing a strategy can help you have everything in place so that you can leave for your own good. Some of the guidelines are as follows:

  • Speak to someone trustworthy and let them know your plan. For example, making a code word for text if you are need help immediately
  •  Documenting the abuse can be really helpful. Preserve any proof of physical abuse (like photos), a book of all incidences noting carefully events, dates, and threats), or a record of a doctor’s visit
  •  Plans should be shared with children and they should be provided with reassurance that they should keep themselves safe and not try and protect you

You must be prepared if you plan to leave sooner than expected. You must make a plan immediately for such a situation-

  •  Know the number of local battered shelter for women in your area
  • Park your car in the driveway, keeping it fueled. The driver’s door must be unlocked and other doors locked
  • Keep money aside with family or trusted friends
  •  Pack a bag containing IDs, extra keys, birth certificates, social security cards, marriage license, credit cards, clothes, medications, shoes, banking information — anything which is significant to you and stores them at a friend or neighbor’s house
  •  Have essential phone numbers noted somewhere except your phone
  •  If you have time, also take titles, Citizenship documents, medical records, deeds, property information, insurance information, children’s immunization and school records, and welfare identification

STAYING SAFE AFTER YOU LEAVE

The need to be aware of your surroundings will not stop after you have left. You will want to make sure to check off these items once you have left so that you can be safe for a long time.

If the offender is preparing to leave and you receive a restraining order:

  •  Alter your phone number and locks
  •  Change your hours of work and the route taken to go to work
  •  Alter the route to drop children to school
  •  Keep a restraining order copy with you always
  • Inform employers, neighbors, and friends that you have an effective restraining order
  •  Give its copies to friends, family, employees, neighbors, school authorities along with offender’s picture
  • For enforcing the order, contact law enforcement

If you are leaving the relationship:

  •  Think about either using the address of a friend or renting a post office box for any of your mails. Be careful while giving your new phone number and address to someone
  •  Keep the school authorities updated about the situation
  • Reschedule appointments
  • Use different social spots and stores
  • Keep neighbors alerted, and request them to reach out to the police if they sense danger
  •  Make arrangement for security systems
  •  Inform people who take care of your children and who can pick up your children. Make them understand your condition and hand them with a restraining order copy
  •  For caller ID, contact telephone company

-prepared by Harsimran Kaur of NewsGram. Twitter @Hkaur1025

 

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Copyright 2017 NewsGram

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10 Tips to Spend Quality Time with Your Family

“The best thing you can give to your family is YOUR TIME”.

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Family walk with dog. Pixabay

To earn bread for our family and give a better living to our children, we often forget that the best thing we can offer them is our time. We try to buy all the luxuries for our loved ones and even purchasing the best health insurance plan to make them feel secure. We do this all to ensure that our family has the assured financial security, especially when we are not around. However, what if we are with them? Are we able to spend quality time with our family members? Probably not, and this is the story of most Indian working couples.

By explaining all this, we do not mean that you should stop earning or leave your job to spend time with your family. Instead, we want to say that take some time out of your busy schedule and spend few hours every day with your loved ones.

If you are unable to find out a way to spend some-time with your family and loved ones, we are here to solve your problem. Today, we are discussing top 10 ways to spend more time with your loved ones:

Term insurance, time
Your family members will be covered financially, in the case of your absence. Pixabay

 

  • Have at least one meal together: Be it breakfast or dinner, try to have at least one meal of the day with your entire family. Generally, due to our busy routine in the mornings and different timings of schools and offices, becomes difficult to have breakfast together. However, having dinner together is not tough; so make sure to have your dinner with your family.
  • Drop your child/children to school or extra classes: If possible, drop your children at their school on your own. This will give you all a travel time together, and you can discuss various school-related issues they may have without any other interventions. If it is not possible to drop them to school, try to drop or pick them up from their extra classes. In this way, you can convert your travel time into ‘together time’ even on weekdays, without bothering anyone.
  • Go for weekly family outings: Whether it is a latest movie or zoo, take some time out of your busy schedule for a family outing. Moreover, take the opinion of your children and spouse to plan something for the weekend.
  • After dinner walks: This tip is especially for married couples who live with joint family or have kids. Generally, such couples miss ‘together time’; therefore, for them, it is suggested to have an after-dinner walk. In this walk, you can discuss your day or anything that you want to share with your partner.
Term insurance, time
A family that eats together, stays together and healthy! Pixabay
  • Share your experiences and family stories with your kids at their bedtime: Try to spend some quality moments with your family at bedtime. Read some storybooks of your child’s interest or tell some family stories or your experiences to your children while they are in their bed.
  • Celebrate family traditions: India is a country of culture and traditions, and if you start celebrating these traditions, there is no need for any other family get-togethers. It is a good method to spend quality time with your family as well as make your children understand your family traditions.
  • Turn your mobile off when you are at home with your family: One more problem that every family faces these days is interference of smartphones. Even though all the family members come home on time, they all keep themselves busy on their mobile phones. Have you ever noticed that despite sitting together for long hours in the same room, we all do not talk to each other and remain busy on our phones? Leave this habit; rather switch your phone off when at home to spend more time with your family than on social media.
  • Keep in touch with your extended family members and relatives: Despite the fact that we all have a long list of tasks for our weekends, we should meet our relatives. We all must try to visit our extended family members or call them to our place at least once in a month. This is because family ties are precious and will our children adjust with people rather living alone in a nuclear family.
Time
Be it breakfast or dinner, try to have at least one meal of the day with your entire family. Wikimedia Commons
  • Spare some time to do nothing: This is to assure your family members that they are your priority. By doing this, you make sure to your family that you do not have any other plan than spending some time together to do nothing. Simply talk to each other about past week or plans or discuss some good experiences or bad moments. This will give you an insight of which your family member is suffering these days. Moreover, if you have teenagers at home, you can connect with them as well.

Also Read: Family Size Can Be Determined By Reproductive Rights: Study

  • Cook the favorite recipe for your family together: Cooking together can be a lot of fun for both young and old people in the family. Get advice from the eldest member of your family for the better recipe, whereas involve the youngest in other easiest task of cooking. In this way, everyone will be involved in this family cooking event, and all will love the outcome. Do not forget to click pictures of these moments of togetherness and make videos of sweet activities of your small kids.

 

By following all the above-mentioned recommendations or even a few of them will improve your bond with your family. Moreover, it will give you several chances to spend some time with your loved ones.