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June 18 is Happy Father’s Day: Anyone Remember this ?

In the midst of a perfect life, we have indeed lost and forgotten the roles of a father. Can we spare a moment to revive the father’s love?

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Fathers Day
Child holding father's hand. Pixabay

– by Naina Mishra

June 18, 2017:

As I woke up in the morning, I started to play with my phone looking for perfect fathers day messages to greet my father on the occasion of Father’s day. Sadly, I could only find a handful of them. Startled at the dearth of celebration on the social media, I pondered upon the importance of a father in our society. Come mother’s day and all the nearby markets are full of gifts and flowers, whereas most of us might not be even cognizant about fathers day.

We have often heard that ours is the patriarchal society, where men hold utmost importance but in the shield of condemning the very nature of society, we fail to recognize the quintessence of a father.

A father is more than the Karta (doer) of the family, we expect him to earn a plethora of wealth to feed the greed of his children but do we know that he quivers to spend a penny for himself?

In the midst of a perfect life, we have indeed lost and forgotten the roles of a father. Can we spare a moment to revive the father’s love?

 

You may learn to walk on foot with the help of a mother but it is your father who teaches you to stand on your feet. He who has had sleepless nights because of the worries of your future is a father.

If the mother is a sweet melody then a father is an unforgettable saga. A father is a canvas of happiness and sadness, sometimes attended and sometimes unaccompanied.

He is stretched like a blue azure sky which holds within unspoken tales and takes the responsibility of fulfilling the dreams. If a mother can sell her ornaments in the times of paucity, he who will sell himself is a father.

When a daughter bids farewell to his family, it is the father who grieves of the thought of not seeing her little princess evermore. When a son excels, it is the father who taps on the shoulder and says “go ahead, son”.

He lifted you on his shoulders and brought you everything asked for, have we become nonchalant to his needs now when he needs us? Think for a moment!


Naina Mishra is a Staff Writer at Newsgram. Twitter: @Nainamishr94

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Father’s Love can have Special Influence on Young Adults, Can Boost Daughters’ Maths and Sons’ Language Skills

The study found that fathers from low-income families support their teenagers in ways that result in greater optimism, self-efficacy, higher achievement at school

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Representational image. Pixabay

New Delhi, November 28, 2016: A father’s love can have a special influence on young adults, while it can boost the maths grades of the teenage daughter, it may improve the language skills in the son, researchers said.

The study found that fathers from low-income families support their teenagers in ways that result in greater optimism, self-efficacy, and, ultimately, higher achievement at school.

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This is even true for men with low levels of education or those who were not proficient enough in English to help their children with their homework.

“Low-income fathers affect their adolescents’ beliefs about themselves and their future, and these beliefs influence their achievement by increasing their determination…,” said Marie-Anne Suizzo from the University of Texas in the US.

These positive effects extend to both sons and daughters, albeit in different ways, the study said.

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Experiencing their father’s warmth first influences daughters’ sense of optimism and then spills over into their feeling more determined and certain about their academic abilities. This in turn leads to better math grades.

There is a more direct link between the father’s involvement and teenage boy’s belief in their ability to succeed on the academic front.

Fathers’ involvement with teenage boys’ belief in their ability to succeed on the academic front, results in heightened self-confidence and their success in English language, arts classes, the researchers explained.

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Counsellors and educators should encourage fathers to communicate warmth and acceptance to their children, because of the positive influence these emotions have on their well-being, Suizzo suggested.

In the study, published in the journal Sex Roles, the team analysed 183 sixth-graders from low-income, ethnic minority families. They asked about how optimistic and motivated they were about their schoolwork, and how their experiences were with their fathers. (IANS)

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Not in Blood but in Bond: Mahesh Savani is a proud father of 472 daughters

Mahesh fosters 472 young women who have lost their fathers and helps them get married and supports them throughout their married life

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Indian brides sit for a group photo before a mass wedding hosted by a diamond trader in Surat, India. Image source: (AP Photo/Ajit Solanki)
  • Mahesh Savani was inspired to help fatherless daughters after his brother died
  • This year in 2016, 216 of his daughters will be married
  • Savani is now able to foster 472 young women who have lost their fathers

AHMEDABAD: A staggering number that leads many people to question, how? Mahesh Savani, a businessman, is the proud father of 472 daughters. Not in blood but in bond. These daughters are not biologically his; rather, he serves as a generous father figure to these girls.

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Mahesh Savani lost his brother years ago. This left Savani not only heartbroken, but his two nieces were left without a father; Savani stepped in. This moved him to think of other girls who are left without a father. He says, “It is challenging for a woman who has lost her husband to get her daughter married.” Hina Kathiriya, whose father passed away six years ago got married in 2015, she says, “Mahesh papa is just a message away when we need him,” said the TOI report.

Mahesh Savani. Image source: Wikimedia Commons
Mahesh Savani. Image source: Wikimedia Commons

Savani’s interests range from realty, to school, and diamonds; a family business. He comes from the Raparda village of Bhavnagar, where his father came 40 years earlier. Originally his father was a diamond polisher, eventually turning into a unit. This unit is still in the family name, and is very prosperous.

According to TOI, Savani is now able to foster 472 young women who have lost their fathers. He helps them get married and supports them throughout their married life. Since the family business is successful, Savani can afford to spend over Rs 4 lakh on each daughter’s wedding. The girls get everything they need in order to start a home; clothes, utensils, and electronics. They also receive silver and gold. This year alone, Savani will help 216 girls get married. He does not prejudice against different religions, or different castes.

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“Mahesh papa is more than a father to me. I wish every girl in the world gets a father like him,” said Naheda Banu. She lost her father when she was just a child, and she married Arif in 2014.

-prepared by Abigail Andrea is an intern at NewsGram. Twitter @abby_kono

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It’s hard for these dads to talk about love … but they do

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My proud father beaming as he holds little Wilbur.

It’s Father’s Day! While the holiday isn’t formally celebrated in the rural area of southern India where I live, I still have to tell my dad how much I appreciate him, love him and how thankful I am for all he has done — although I’m a little apprehensive about how he will respond to my mushy affections.

It’s not uncommon for fathers to struggle with expressing their love for their children, but also with loving their children equally. Some rejoice at the birth of a son and grieve when a daughter is born.

I decided to go out and ask a trio of dads in my village to share their thoughts about fatherhood with me.

Mayilsami, 67, is a father of one daughter.

                                                                   Mayilsami, 67, is a father of one daughter.

Mayilsami

Some people in India may grieve when a daughter is born, but not Mayilsami. The 67-year-old retired factory worker says he tries to raise his daughter in the “jolliest” way possible.

“Whatever she asked, I would give her,” he says, “so maybe that was the way I expressed my affection.”

But he acknowledges that, like other fathers, he’s often so busy earning a living that “we lose touch with our children.”

His advice to younger fathers: “Work less and invest more in your family. Try to speak more to your children.”

Rajagopal, 76, is a father of one daughter.

                                                                  Rajagopal, 76, is a father of one daughter.

Rajagopal

Rajagopal, 76, raised his daughter as a single dad after his wife’s death at a young age.

“I had to make sure I let her know that she was loved,” he says. “Expressing love is usually easier for the mother.”

When it comes to boys versus girls, Rajagopal says that it’s part of the “culture” to favor sons.

“If I had a son I would give my house and land to him, not my daughter,” he says.

Regardless of the child’s gender, he says, discipline is key.

“If you do this when they are young,” he says, “then you won’t need to discipline them when they grow older and get into family feuds.”

Ganesan, 62, is a father of four daughters.

                                                              Ganesan, 62, is a father of four daughters.

Ganesan

The 62-year-old former mill worker has four daughters, all of whom are married.

“I did my best to help my daughters in their schoolwork and to get them married,” he says.

But he does wish he had had a son.

“You have to see it from the perspective that boys will be the ones to lift you up when you need help,” he says. “With the girl, you have to pay dowry to get her married and then she belongs to her husband and in-laws. This is embedded within our culture.”

It wasn’t easy being a dad, he says.

“I struggled a bit to share my feelings, and things got even worse after my daughters got married,” he admits. “I could not even talk to them, and they treated me terribly — maybe that is because of the lack of communication and affection I showed them as a father.”

Now, Ganesan spends a lot of time with his grandchildren. The most important thing a father can do, he says, is “show our children that we are capable of love, just like their mothers.”

Credits: Wilbur Sargunaraj for National Public Radio (www.npr.org)