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Sorry and please are often described as 'magic' words simply because of the inherent power they possess to transform situations -- be it placating the recipient, strengthening a bond, or managing relationships. Effective communication emphatically talks about its frequent but genuine use to establish rapport apart from being polite and respectful. In that, 'sorry' holds a special significance for children as they navigate through their growing up years.
We often define these growing-up years as work in progress as children work out cause and effect, and understand that relationship management can be 'tricky' business. During these formative years, children deal with their family, school teachers, or friends and for that matter, even strangers. Perspectives, opinions, and misunderstandings pepper these years as a child matures and embraces social skills. Experience over a period of time is what enables children to regulate their emotions. Dangers of 'damage', a natural consequence of some of these misunderstood situations, can be mitigated if children are encouraged to make amends and move on.
The early years are dominated by the child's need to put himself/herself at the centre of every situation, often not realising that in doing so (this is a developmental milestone and will ease into maturity eventually), they could 'hurt' someone. And their need to resist apologising for their actions could largely be attributed to the fact that they are unable to fathom its severity and impact. For children, they are simply reacting and not intending to 'hurt' someone in a quest to protect themselves. They consider this an act of normalcy -- like snatching a toy that belongs to them, or pushing another child to get ahead, or jumping the line or speaking out of turn. Remember, their world is about them and hence it is important to educate children about feelings, appropriate behaviour, and how to build relationships.
Sorry and please are often described as 'magic' words - Pixabay pixabay.com
As children 'age', the primary years become grounds for more experiences, and children naturally evolve into being more aware of the consequences of their acts. And through regular communication by watching adults around them, they tend to use the word more often to 'mend' the situation. As social creatures, and quick to please, they recognise the need to 'adapt' and 'mould' themselves as per norms that are likely to receive praise or acknowledgement. In middle and high school years, the level of understanding about social interactions is purely the result of exposure and conditioning over the years, and therefore children ease into managing these relationships much better.
The key always remains the foundation, and the start, and consistent communication over the years with timely intervention to help students become the polite, sensitive, aware, and amicable adults we all aspire them to be. This requires efforts on part of those nurturing these students in school and at home as the 'seniors' who lead the way.
Fatema Agarkar, Educationist and Founder of ACE Some quick tips:
Role-model behaviour: Children are silent observers of everything they see around them, and the best way for them to 'learn' how to manage relationships and use the word sorry, is if they see enough examples of adults apologising. For example, in a fit of anger, if an adult has spoken rudely to the house help or a teacher to a fellow teacher, by apologising in public and explaining the rationale to the little ones, children understand the concept of a mistake, and that mistakes can be rectified through acts or actions in a way that builds a stronger bond. Hence, the importance of public display is critical for children to know that they can adopt a similar approach when faced with a similar situation.
Children are silent observers of everything they see around them. Photo by CDC on Unsplash
Cinema: Watching films that convey this message (lots of children films are about this) together with your children, and discussions after about what they understood and how the relationships became stronger because of the apologies is also a great way to communicate in a non-threatening way to the children. Often well-meaning adults tend to 'lecture' and children tune off given the plethora of instructions theyreceive daily, and these audio-visuals serve as an effective reminder of protocols to be adopted. Discussions post the film are important communication channels because it helps point out 'facts' that are important for them to know.
Watching films that convey a message together with your children is also a great way to communicate in a non-threatening way to the children. Pixabay
Books: Cannot emphasise how crucial this component is at any age -- great tools for expressing and role-modelling appropriate behaviour for children, and post a book reading, getting them to relate to situations that they have encountered is also a way to help them self-analyse.
Books are a great tool for expressing and role-modelling appropriate behaviour for children. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Journals: Encourage children to 'write' about difficult situations, and how they reacted to it, and what were some of the consequences if they had said 'sorry' instead of furthering the problem! Reflection as a tool and exercise, especially in primary years, helps children 'think' back and analyse their choices. A true learning milestone if we have to raise well-balanced children. Children do tend to 'forget' things, and unless they think about writing them down, and discussing it with their parents, they will never learn the art of reflection. The adults again can guide, and mentor (without judgement) and ease the children into making amends by apologising. This forms a dialogue with them.
Encourage children to 'write' about difficult situations, and how they reacted to it, and what were some of the consequences if they had said 'sorry' instead of furthering the problem! Photo by Jerry Wang on Unsplash
Social media: There are lots of positive quotes, stories, and images on social media about relationships. Encourage children by sharing this with them especially how someone dealt with a particular situation and overcame it. It is motivational, positive, and gets them to think about 'solving' problems and for that matter, 'accepting' that everyone has them!
Encourage children by sharing positivity with them especially how someone dealt with a particular situation and overcame it. Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash
Rewards: Rewards do not have to be materialistic, but do use this liberally as words. Acknowledge, and praise when the children are using appropriate behaviour and mending ties! This is perhaps the most underutilised of all communication strategies -- as adults, the praise is reserved for performance academically or in co-curricular, and it is time, this gets incorporated for behaviour and skills that build relationships. Write your child an email, a letter, or create a card and let them know how proud you are of them.
Write your child an email, a letter, or create a card and let them know how proud you are of them. Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash
Beyond 'sorry', the crux of communication and mentoring students remains focused on building relationships. For that, the children need to accept that mistakes happen, and these mistakes can lead to feelings of anger, aggression, or trauma for those at the receiving end. But that these are the moments that can be salvaged, and lead to better experiences and closer bonds. Sometimes demonstrating this to them, standing by their side as they attempt to, or pointing it out to them when they have not noticed will go a long way in creating happier children!
(Article originally written by: N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe) (IANS/ MBI)
Keywords: sorry, kids, books, movies, letter, reward, journal, apology
Wedding decor can be fun if you love to design. Interior designers are often involved in wedding themes these days and Aatika Manzar, Founder Director at Aatika Manzar Designs share some simple ideas to help them plan a beautiful wedding:
Start with a theme wedding
All the designs get aligned in accordance with the theme you choose. Once you have a theme, everything can be worked according to that. A vintage/opulent theme is the most common in India because it comes with a traditional touch. The glamorous theme is popular too with shiny crystals, beautiful lights, and flowers. The colour scheme which usually is rich purple accompanied by a neutral beige carpet. It feels like the wedding took place in a castle amidst huge chandeliers, deep maroon furniture with gold polish, and lots of candles.
Draped ceilings can add a hint of glamorous opulence to your venue. Photo by Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash
Create a romantic ambience
Start with string lights hung from the ceilings of the reception space. Or, if it's an outdoor wedding, weave lights through trees and branches for a whimsical vibe. Creative lighting is one of the biggest wedding trends for 2021, so don't overlook it. String lights, along with votive candles, neon signs, or tea lights, can create a welcoming visual aesthetic that'll transform your space. Rent hanging lights from a local vendor, or invest in affordable sets from a local hardware store to make it a DIY project. Lighting is a key detail that'll accent your reception venue -- and of all the best wedding decor ideas, it's one of our favourites.
Have a green wall
Statement florals will be everywhere in 2021. If you're looking for a standout decoration idea, consider a green wall. A cluster of greens will bring fresh life into your reception space, and it can serve as a unique photo backdrop too. Leave your wall as is, or dress it up with a custom neon sign or string lights around the outer edge. If you're looking for functionality, a green wall can work anywhere in your wedding venue -- use it behind the altar as a ceremony backdrop, then transfer it to your reception venue to get as much usage as possible.
If you think you're seeing marquee letters everywhere, you're not alone
Couples are taking signage to a new level with large letters to spell their names or send a message to guests. If you're working with a large reception room, marquee letters will fill the space nicely (especially if they have light bulbs on them). Rent letters from a local vendor to use at your celebration. Arrange them in your initials, your shared last name, or in a welcome message.
Suspending lush arrangements a few feet above your guests' dinner plates is a unique way to create a more intimate space. Photo by Álvaro CvG on Unsplash
Don't underestimate the power of fabrics
Draped ceilings can add a hint of glamorous opulence to your venue. (For a rustic finish, string lights above the fabric to cast a soft glow over the space). Keep it formal with white drapes, or experiment with coloured material for an avant-garde look. Draped ceilings will be an attention-grabber, keep the rest of your reception decor minimal to avoid overpowering the space.
Flowers aren't just reserved for your centerpieces
Suspending lush arrangements a few feet above your guests' dinner plates is a unique way to create a more intimate space. Hanging flowers from the ceiling will also add dimension to the room, and it's a special way to transform the venue and make it unique.
Creating a lounge area:
A sweetheart table is a romantic way for couples to enjoy the reception together. And, if you're looking for ways to enhance your venue, it can be a focal point for decorations. Arrange the area with flowers, elegant candle holders, statement chairs, a neon sign, or rose petals surrounding your seats to bring colour and texture to the room.
2021 will give rise to small weddings and intimate decor ideas. So focus more on DIY decor plans that are cost-effective and look great in small areas.
(Article originally published by: N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe) IANS/SS
Keywords: wedding, decoration, aisle, world
With a strong focus on ageing positively, senior citizens want to explore new career avenues, pursue their passions, and at the same time engage in social good more actively. Contrary to widespread belief, today's senior citizens are far from retirement. In celebration of World Senior Citizen's Day (August 21), Columbia Pacific Communities, India's largest senior living community operator, launched India's first ever report on the golden agers, The Positive Ageing Report. Supported by extensive desk research, the report, aims to examine traditional notions and understand evolving needs of seniors while giving key insights on the changing aspirations, needs of senior citizens and their view of ageing in the 21st century.
People older than 60 years account for 8 per cent of the Indian population. However, by 2050, the number of elderly will almost double, with over 319 million people aged over 60. This necessitates reimagining of our existing infrastructure and services to support positive ageing and better senior care for the ageing population. In the given scenario, the findings of the Report will help enhance our understanding and drive conversations around what senior citizens feel about ageing and the kind of support they need from society. The Report is based on face-to-face and telephonic interviews conducted by Innovative Research Services (India) Pvt. Ltd.
Report will help enhance our understanding and drive conversations around what senior citizens feel about ageing and the kind of support they need from society. Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash
On the occasion, putting the spotlight on the issue of loneliness among the elderly, Columbia Pacific Communities, launched the initiative #ReplyDon'tReject with the critically acclaimed senior actor, Boman Irani.
Some of the key findings from the report are as follows:
* For people over 60, men (31 per cent ) identify themselves with their careers (compared to 19 per cent women), women (30 per cent ) believe their identity comes from their passions and interests (compared to 23 per cent men).
* The proportion of women over 60 (36 per cent ) who spend over four hours daily on social media is greater than millennial and Gen Z men (22 per cent ) and more than double of millennial and Gen Z women (15 per cent).
* More than two out of five respondents over 60 (45 per cent ) agree with the statement -- 'Life begins at 60; no work, only leisure, these are the best years, after all!'
* Nearly a third (31 per cent ) of the respondents believe that it is only after 60 that they would have all the time and the wisdom to achieve their ambitions.
"The philosophy of positive ageing is central to all our efforts at Columbia Pacific Communities. We strive towards creating an ecosystem that fosters a healthy ageing experience for the elderly. Considering several factors of the rapidly transforming world and the significant shift in our population demographic, we wanted to ascertain the future needs of seniors better. Therefore, we commissioned a survey on positive ageing, examining people across age groups within three broad frameworks -- identity, technology and health. The findings of the survey have been eye-opening and have challenged pre-existing notions. The report reveals Indian seniors to be as independent, focused, enterprising and aspirational as any other age group. It is our pleasure to release The Positive Ageing Report and we are confident that it will provide key perspectives to policy makers and other stakeholders and help them strengthen their efforts towards the health and well-being of the elderly," Mohit Nirula, CEO, Columbia Pacific Communities said.
On the occasion, putting the spotlight on the issue of loneliness among the elderly, Columbia Pacific Communities, launched the initiative #ReplyDon'tReject with the critically acclaimed senior actor, Boman Irani. Photo by Tiago Muraro on Unsplash
On the occasion, putting the spotlight on the issue of loneliness among the elderly, Columbia Pacific Communities, launched the initiative #ReplyDon'tReject with the critically acclaimed senior actor, Boman Irani. The initiative calls out to the younger generations, by offering a unique perspective, and appeals them to avoid treating frequent video, photo, or good morning messages from senior citizens as mere forwards and view the mere act of frequent messaging as the desire to connect and share as well as the struggle to fight their solitude. The Positive Ageing Report will be available to download for free from August 21, 2021 from the Columbia Pacific Communities microsite www.columbiacommunities.in/toseniorswithlove. (IANS/ MBI)
Keywords: Columbia Pacific Communities, Positive Ageing, launch, senior citizens, millennial, Columbia, pacific
For generations, mothers have been a force of nature doing the heavy lifting when it comes to raising children right; keeping them safe and teaching them the rules of society. And while most might say, "Mothers across generations have been the same", we beg to differ. Most mommies have been undergoing a tectonic makeover. In addition to the trademark gooey love-filled centre, there is a growing brigade of mothers today who exhibit a sharp cast-iron brand of grit and self-love. Having moved far away from self-deprecating martyrdom, more moms around the world are becoming role models of self-love. And self-love is tied deeply to confidence and how your life turns out. The gumption to live the most authentic lives comes from self-love and positive body image.
So more power to the evolved moms and their children. However, there are still many among us that remain self-critical. This next information might interest them-- according to a research paper by Utah State University titled "Body Dissatisfaction and Weight Bias in Children", body dissatisfaction begins around age five for girls, and seven for boys! Wow! Evidently, moms have a specific influence on the way their children see themselves.
But before we get all judgy, these mothers don't have it easy either. After a lifetime of being at the receiving end of their own share of, "You are too thin, too jiggly, too dark etc loving their bodies is tough enough". And once the baby comes, this message amplifies with suggestions to ''quickly bounce back". So much so that "You don't look like you have just delivered" is a compliment in our world. No wonder then that some moms continue to be preoccupied with their body image and then go on to raise children who mimic their limiting beliefs.
How about changing it once and for all this mothers day! Stuti Sethi, Senior Marketing Manager, Pureplay Skin Sciences devises a plan to unlearn these behaviours.
When the mind says critical things about your post-pregnancy body
Look at your baby. You made that! Those stretch marks are like a badge of honour that came from your body and your heart making room for your little one. Lovingly run your fingers over them and be proud to bear them.
Don't get played by marketing
Anytime you look at a magazine cover or an advertisement that makes you feel bad about your body, remind yourself that real bodies aren't supposed to look that way. Also, unsubscribe, please.
Unfollow social media accounts
That push perfection. Instead choose ones that promote wellness, fitness, good eating habits and mental health. You don't actively seek out phone conversations with mean friends who make you feel bad about yourself... same logic
Once the baby comes, this message amplifies with suggestions to ''quickly bounce back". So much so that "You don't look like you have just delivered" is a compliment in our world. Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash
There is more to you than your weight, dimensions and complexion. There are simply so many ways to express your creativity, learn new exciting things and make a difference. Find your unique gifts and share them with the world. Do what makes you happy.
Modelling positive behaviour in today's world is not so tough. There is a lot of support-- there are role models, brands, and offerings that simply refuse to scarf down the diminishing narrative of "you are not good enough as you are''. And the wonderful benefits that unfold from body positivity are tremendous and many. The confidence and self-esteem help you reach one accomplishment after another, your relationships are healthier (since your relationship with yourself is healthier) and the best outcome of all is the children you raise are happy, self-assured and well-adjusted, who understand the importance of being able and kind instead on simply being the prettiest ones in the room!
(Article Originally Written By: N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe) (IANS/ MBI).
Keywords: Mother's Love, Mom Life, Motherhood, Baby Love, Mothers Day