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Last year through the country-wide lockdown showed us what disruptions are all about. This second wave that engulfs our country and subsequently forcing many States into lockdown is indicative of how volatile our days have been and will continue to be, and the importance of taking the challenges of parenting, one day at a time.
As homes turn into WFH office spaces, as bedrooms become make-shift classrooms, as devices are shared and used to communicate, learn and work, parenting in Covid-19 times requires a different mindset. I have been saying this from the first lockdown in March 2020, that Pre pandemic efforts were blessed with an ability to shift some responsibility to the school, the classes that children enrolled themselves in, playdates organized. It is essential to have some ‘personal space’ be it for the children or the adults, but in the lockdown world, the ‘chain’ does not really break and the circle is a continuous series of days that at times may lead to frustration for both the adults and the children caught in that ‘bubble’.
The summer months in this country, do nothing to ‘calm’ nerves either, and as one waits for the cool monsoon months, and things to normalize, the reality of the times is that ‘normalization’ is still a distance away in this marathon called Covid. Therefore, it is important to put all of this in perspective, if we have to approach the next 15-18 months with a sense of purpose and make these months count more than ever.
Acceptance that these times are different and difficult will be a good starting point for parents. Approach it like a ‘forced’ adventure, one that can you in fact control. The priority must be wellness and wellbeing, and attention paid to what you are feeling, and compassion for what your children are experiencing. As adults, our conditioning over a period of time, allows us to ‘manage’ emotions, unfortunately, which children as ‘work-in-progress cannot do, and therefore they need direction and role modeling, tons of patience, and lots of unconditional love.
It sounds easy to pin this down on paper, well, truth to be told, it is not. This navigation is maneuvering a ship through stormy waters, and while there will be calm that eventually happens, the timing is something that remains beyond control; hence it is important to create short-term and long-term goals to keep that ship afloat.
Make Weekday Goals
Every educator has been emphasizing the need to create some sort of routine for your children. Children thrive when given freedom, but remember, they need to structure that in a way that allows them some purpose as well. Over the years, as a mother and an educator, I find that children feel ‘comforted’ when given freedom, but also a direction, a path, and some goals to achieve. It allows them to think and plan and gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility. These could be the fun exercises you lead every Sunday with them after watching their favorite serial. It is important that the environment is relaxed and not rushed, and Sunday works best devoid of work tasks (please keep them away), and their school routines.
Think of this as a ‘contract’ between your child and you and defining the ‘week’s goal’ will help both parties to have clarity and reduce the disappointments that usually arise when a parent ‘expects’ something, and the child has totally missed the point because she/he was not paying attention and does something completely different. This routine would include negotiations on screen time, playtime, study time, reading time, eating time, exercise time, bath time, tidying up time, tv time, etc. I use the word negotiation because this cannot be a one-way street with you dictating what time they should eat, sleep, etc. It involves a dialog and the rationale and explaining your points of you to get their buy-in and being open-minded to their suggestions. As adults, you can navigate this conversation to what you would eventually like it to be, but involving children in a discussion makes them ‘listen’ and also ‘locks’ them in.
The 3 strike rule
Have clear consequences for when the routine is compromised. I do not mean that for half an hour of extra playtime means they are denied their favorite meal. What I mean is that for resistance to give up screen time for extended periods, there must be ‘3 strikes’ after which the child automatically accepts that there will be consequences for ‘pushing’ the deadline cut-off. The importance of being consistent is also a clear sign for the children and must be adhered to. Often parents give in, and this then becomes a battleground when the parents do not want to bend the rules. This approach leads to fewer confrontations, and tears because once the child has consented to something, he/she is aware that there will be consequences and yes, expect some resistance and pleading and sometimes mood swings, but children get over this very quickly when they realize their parents mean business! This is the same moment to get over compared to when there are no rules.
What works in your own family setting
Set your own expectations as a family. I cannot emphasize this. While I am a huge advocator for using social media sensibly, at times I realize parents start to use these comparisons. For that matter even on social chats when parents share notes with each other about their children e what works for your family is unique to your household circumstances and do not make the mistake of thinking it can be modeled along the lines of what someone else is managing. This is a huge trigger point for conflicts in homes, and best to always be appreciative of what others manage, but as a family, you have to set your own goals.
Laughter and plain old ‘monkeying’ around are very important if you have to keep the mood light and lively. This also works wonders for acceptance levels when parents have to set deadlines. A happy, joyful atmosphere is important especially with the kind of overwhelmingly sad news that is reported every day. Your job as a parent is to keep your children safe, and happy and also to keep their morale up. They do not need to know all the facts of the world, as this leads to anxiety which is another trigger point for tantrums as children also get worried and are unable to always express this through words.
Spot signs and addresses them quickly
Knowing the pulse of your children and what works and what does not must be your biggest driving force. Leave the academic goals aside for a moment, know what makes your child happy, what is confusing your child, what is tiring your child, what is difficult for your child and accepting that, you will be able to reach out to different professionals e be it your child’s teacher in a school or a therapist for intervention. When you are not able to manage the emotions as a family, and the sooner you get professional help, the safer it is for your relationship. This could be a behavioral change or an academic dip, or even an emotional indifference, it is very important to spot the signs and address them quickly.
Find some me-time
Ensure that the time you spend with your child involves quality interactions, and also some time for the child to manage independently explaining you have household chores or work tasks or need to connect with the family of friends socially (this is important for them to know so that they also put a price on these relationships). This ‘distancing’ is also healthy, as lockdown times demand every minute of your energy, and as an adult, it is unrealistic to believe you can sustain like a superhuman with the same tenacity. Distancing therefore allows for personal time, which is just the oxygen that your relationship needs. What it also does is that after your personal ‘quotient’ is in a happy place, allow you to give your child all the attention, energy which is the memory they must be left with. Not a parent who is drained with work tasks, and emotional about a friend not well who is leaning on them for support. This passes over to the child who will no doubt exhibit this behavior in time as a response to something you may suggest as a way of ‘acting out. As they say, get the oxygen mask on yourself before you even begin to help those around you!
These are some basic reminders to get you through the months ahead. Remember, no parent has a complete fix on this, and no child is perfectly going to follow all rules and all one can do as a family is making this relationship about communication, mistakes, corrections with some funny and happy memories.
London (CNN)- At five o'clock in the morning, the esteemed 86-year-old astrophysicist Jim Peebles was woken suddenly by the telephone ringing."In previous experience, the only phone calls at that time of night are bad news," he said. This one was great news. "The opening sentence from the caller was: 'The Nobel committee has voted to award you the Nobel Prize in Physics. Do you accept?'" Peebles recalled. The wording threw him. Who wouldn't accept a Nobel Prize? "You know the Bob Dylan fiasco?" he said during a phone interview with CNN. "That might have put the wind up them."The "fiasco" Peebles mentions refers to the 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature, which was controversially given to an utterly unimpressed Dylan.Aside from being ever-presents on college campuses in the 1960s, little connects Peebles, an expert in theoretical cosmology, with Dylan. But one of the starkest contrasts might lie in their reactions to winning a Nobel -- and the songwriter is far from the only laureate whose crowning turned out to be an awkward affair.
The five committees are notoriously secretive, fiercely shielding their choices from the outside world -- including the laureates themselves, who are told of their victories just minutes before they are announced to the public.
Jim Peebles speaking at the Nobel Prize banquet in 2019 Image credit: CNN
That tight-lipped mantra can lead to some heartening surprises, as it did for Benjamin List -- the co-winner of this year's Nobel Prize in Chemistry -- who was having coffee with his wife when he received the news.
"Sweden appears on my phone, and I look at her, she looks at me and I run out of the coffee shop to the street ... you know, that was amazing. It was very special. I will never forget," he told reporters on Wednesday after his victory was announced.It can also be far less celebratory. "I was lying in bed, and my wife woke up and heard my phone buzzing. And she yelled at me because my phone was waking her up," David MacMillan, who shared the prize with List, told BBC Radio 4 on Thursday."100% [I] missed the call. Classic Scottish person. I [didn't] believe this is happening, so I went back to bed," he added -- likely the most relatable sentence ever uttered by an expert in chiral imidazolidinone catalysts.
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And for some, the sudden ascension to Nobel laureate is an unwanted intrusion altogether. "Oh Christ," British-Zimbabwean author Doris Lessing said when reporters arrived outside her house to inform her she had won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2007. "I'm sure you'd like some uplifting remarks of some kind. "It's a wonderful thing," Reinhard Genzel, an astrophysicist who won last year's Nobel Prize in Physics, told CNN of his win and the months since. "But it's a chore as well."
What it's like to win a Nobel PrizeFew Nobel winners can honestly say their lives weren't changed when they received the phone call.As long as they believe it, that is. "These days you get these cold calls, and I thought this is another one of them," Abdulrazak Gurnah, the winner of this year's literature prize, told the BBC on Thursday."This guy said, 'Hello, you have won the Nobel Prize for Literature,' And I said, 'come on, get out of here. Leave me alone,'" Gurnah said. "He talked me out of that, and gradually persuaded me."Winners often can't be contacted at all, leaving them to find out about their wins from the news, their family, or even their next-door neighbors.
Nobel Peace Prize winners Ressa and Muratov Image source: CNNEconomist Paul Milgrom was woken in the middle of the night in California by his colleague Robert Wilson banging on his front door. "Paul, it's Bob Wilson. You've won the Nobel Prize," he shouted into the intercom. "Yeah, I have? Wow," an utterly confused Milgrom responded, in an exchange captured by a doorbell camera.
Genzel's phone call came while he was in a Zoom meeting with colleagues last October. "I had absolutely no inkling," he said. "I thought, my God ... obviously this is a fantasy."
The committee's secretary told him he "couldn't say anything for 15 or 20 minutes," so Genzel tried his best to keep the news to himself. "I walked over to our meeting room ... (my colleagues) told me afterwards I was stumbling in there, slightly gazed, telling them to switch on the TV," he said.Malala Yousafzai, the youngest Nobel winner at 17, was midway through a chemistry lesson at a school in Birmingham, England, when a teacher interrupted to tell her she had won, she told Reuters.She later told Vogue that she modestly left the achievement off her university applications, because she "felt a bit embarrassed." But there are occasions, too, where the winner isn't quite as thrilled as the Nobel committee might imagine.
Dylan and Ernest Hemingway both skipped the Nobels' annual banquet; the latter made a point of telling the Swedish Academy that he had "no facility for speech making and no command of oratory." But arguably it was Lessing who had the most memorable reaction. She learned of her win as she stepped out of a taxi on the way back from the grocery store. "Have you heard the news? You've won the Nobel Prize for Literature!" an enthusiastic reporter told her. Her eyes rolled back in her head before the journalist had even finished his sentence. Lessing -- accompanied by a male acquaintance who stood next to her, bemused, his arm in a sling and a single artichoke in his hand -- was clearly more interested in collecting her shopping than talking to the world's media.
Also read: Abdulrazak Gurnah- The New Nobel Laureate
Asked how she felt, she expressed little enthusiasm: "Look, I've won all the prizes in Europe, every bloody one."
"Am I supposed to get excited, or elated, or what?" she remarked. "One can't get more excited than one gets, you know?"
'I was treated like a rock star'
As soon as Genzel's win was announced last year, his face was on televisions around the world. The announcement of a Nobel Prize winner makes the front pages of newspapers and websites almost everywhere, throwing a sudden spotlight on little-known scientists and their complex research. "Once the announcement is made, you lose your identity within half an hour," Genzel said. "The telephone rings all the time. "Peebles had a similar experience just minutes after his early morning phone call. "When I returned to bed my wife said, 'What was that about?' I said 'Nobel Prize,' and she said: Oh God." Within minutes, the couple had a photographer outside their door. Genzel suddenly found himself answering questions about politics on late-night German TV, angering some of his friends with his responses. Peebles, meanwhile, spent much of the day looking through emails from every corner of the world: "Please come visit us, please read my manuscript..."
Reinhard Genzel posing with his medal Image source: CNN
"It's one thing to say that the Nobel Prizes attract attention. It's another to experience it," he said. Sometimes, personal relationships change. "There is of course a lot of envy, from some colleagues -- many people who are close to me in the same field might very well say, 'Why did he get it?'" said Genzel. But before the Covid-19 pandemic scuppered plans for two years in a row, winners were also treated to a gala in Stockholm. "I was treated like a rock star ... I experienced what I expect rock stars to experience," Peebles said of his banquet in 2019. "It's a wonderful honor." "My attache had an almost endless list of things to do," he added. "'Now you must meet these influential people. Now you must go to a news conference. Now we will have dinner with some important people. And on and on.' "Genzel missed out on the festivities last year, but he enjoyed a low-key affair in Germany. "The governor of Bavaria offered us his residence, (and) we had a fairly nice event with the Swedish ambassador," he said. Two years on, CNN asked Peebles whether his email inbox has finally receded to pre-Nobel volumes. "I'd have to look at the data on that," he responded, ever the empiricist. But for both men and many other laureates, the most exciting part of the Nobel experience is simply that it gets people talking about science and culture.
"I find it almost a necessity to tell the public at large that there is truth, there is absolute truth," Genzel said. "What I hope is understood is the importance of the Nobel Prize in making people aware of the importance of curiosity-driven science or arts," he said. "I think it must be unique."
(This article is originally written by Bob Picheta)
Keywords: Nobel Prize, Reactions, Laureates
Married Hindu women are recognised by a red streak of vermillion in the middle of their foreheads. This is traditionally called 'sindoor', which is derived from the Sanskrit word sindura, meaning 'red lead.'. Sindoor is traditionally powdered turmeric and lime, sometimes red saffron, or red sandalwood. It is also called vermilion, or Kumkum.
Sindoor is traditionally powdered turmeric and lime, sometimes red saffron, or red sandalwood. It is also called vermilion, or Kumkum. Image source: Photo by Gayathri Malhotra on Unsplash
The origin of the practise of wearing sindoor is ambiguous, but historical records from the Harappan civilisation show that women wore sindoor as a sign of being married. Today's generation considers the wearing of sindoor an outdated and patriarchal ritual. However, there is still a large population of women who uphold the ritual of adorning their foreheads with vermilion every day.
Sindoor implies the longevity of a woman's marriage to her husband in the Hindu tradition. The longer the streak, the longer her husband's life is believed to be. Women wear it for the first time on their wedding day, when the husband applies it during the ceremony. As long as he remains alive, the red streak that fills the woman's maang, or hair partition, symbolises her fruitful married life.
When the finger used to apply the sindoor touches the pituitary gland every time, it arouses affection in a woman for her husband. Image credit: Photo by Amish Thakkar on Unsplash
The components of the red powder are believed to improve the sexual energy of the woman. When the finger used to apply the sindoor touches the pituitary gland every time, it arouses affection in a woman for her husband. The mixture that she wears on her head controls her blood pressure and activates her sexual drive.
These days, feminists do not take very lightly to the practice of wearing sindoor, as they view it as a sign of patriarchal dominance. They do not like being branded as 'belonging to a man'. They prefer to wear it as a style statement because it enhances beauty. Fashion designers have recently commissioned models to sport sindoor on the runway. New age feminists are making bids to allow widows and single women to adorn their foreheads with the vermilion streak.
Keywords: Sindoor, Marriage, Symbol, Women, Patriarchy
Actress Urvashi Rautela has recently announced the name of her next film which is titled 'Dil Hai Gray'. It's a Hindi remake of Tamil film 'Thiruttu Payale 2'. Urvashi Rautela will be seen alongside Vineet Kumar Singh and Akshay Oberoi.
Urvashi shares: "I am excited to announce the title of my next film 'Dil Hai Gray' on the auspicious day of Vijaya Dashami. The film is very close to my heart and it was lovely working with director Susi Ganeshan sir, producer M Ramesh Reddy sir, and my co-stars Vineet Kumar Singh and Akshay Oberoi. "
"The film has created a massive response in the south industry and I am very positive about the story that it will be also be loved by the audience here. I hope my fans would bless us with their love and support. Super excited to watch my film on the big screen after a long time," she concludes. (IANS/ MBI)
Keywords: urvashi rautela, movies, bollywood, south, remake, film