Tuesday March 26, 2019
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Brazen show of sensuality frightens away the soul of love and marriage

The under-nourished marital relation may find hard to survive when the sharpness of the sensuality goes blunt.

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Both opposite genders pray for the successful marriage --- though it mostly falls apart pretty too early.

By Salil Gewalli

Even in the West, the marital relationship is still a treasured subject. Both opposite genders pray for the successful marriage — though it mostly falls apart pretty too early. Of course, the reasons are various. While some are clearly understandable, some are little beyond one’s mental grasp. True, our conditioned mind swayed by modern proposition and narrow likes and dislikes always fail us to see the thing as it is. Again, for one’s flawed discrimination and sensibility, coupled with the false expectation and its fulfilment, one often witnesses too many crises after marriage and also after the break-up. One just likely to fall into an unpleasantly unexpected situation and run into troubling issues. Thank God, nature, so designed by the Almighty, itself teaches some, with a few hard blows, to come to terms; while other weak lots, who can’t cope with, just plunge into the sea of depression.

 The Guardian of UK/USA, which has recently published a beautiful article, attracted my attention. A discerning female writer from Michigan – Ms Rose Hackman chooses the long title for the article, as   – “Is marriage really on the decline because of men’s cheap access to sex?”.  Ms Rose should be appreciated for not trying to bury her head in the sand. The discussion in the article is concerned with the modern makeup and the increasing failed marriage. The writer logically reasoned out some of the important factors in the article. She quoted an eminent sociologist from Texas — Mark Regnerus who paraphrased an adage – “nobody will buy the cow if you’re giving away the milk for free.”

Moreover, every philosopher has proposed that an object/subject of utility is valued when it is obtained with difficulty. The scarce availability always makes one’s heart ache for it. But, however, people start finding less appealing, even wants to “keep away from” an object/subject if they are flooded with that only. Again, going by the comments on that article, which run into 5/6 thousand, one comes to believe that the unsuccessful marital relationship and incidental crises of the west will surely be going to affect our country too.

The discussion in the article is concerned with the modern makeup and the increasing failed marriage.
The discussion in the article is concerned with the modern makeup and the increasing failed marriage.

I don’t think one needs to go deeper into sex phenomenon and its inherent “binding force”. But here the main concern is that its “binding strength” is rapidly getting weaker and weaker. Many ascribed this situation to the easy availability of sex. One scholar thoughtfully remarks: “So much splurged on the media, so much on display, and so much abused, the “sensuality” is no more sensual. Then what is there in store to attract the opposite sex?” Yes, “desensitization” of sensuality is already the bane which ails everything. In the similar vein, science as well explains many natural phenomena with the theory of “saturation”. A dry cotton absorbs the moisture/water more quickly while the wet cotton cannot do that. “Mind” that is fast becoming like a wet cotton, cannot respond to the moisture of the sensuality.

 On the other hand, if you have a lot many opportunities to eat delicious food outside, your “lovely kitchen” at home will be just ignored, you don’t even turn your head to pay a glance over it. You would never care whether the kitchen is clean or untidy, or even infested with sneaky rats, mice, and cockroaches. Figuratively, in the situation, ones have to call out only the virtues from within, if any available, to salvage the marriage.

Subsequently, one also just becomes less respectful of that which is ubiquitous. I don’t think it is a healthy trend in the society. However, for instance, if the same “sexual sensuality”, which is in existence for the purpose since the dawn of the creation, could have been achieved with difficulty, and with struggle, if it’s a private affair, it would have made ones definitely go “crazy after”.  Mind would just become keener on it.  Then, one even would love to “get lost” in the romantic imagery. The serenades by the likes of Keats and Shelley would have been burst out.  But now, in the midst of the brazen show of the immodest indiscretion that poetic romanticism cannot find its emotional expression.  There is no space for the healthy imagination.

Have we gone too far by overdoing? Have we not over-exposed what should have been relished in the hallowed privacy? William Shakespeare rightly says,  It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance”.  Is it not then that by sipping the drink of modernity and shedding values of decency we have almost killed the goose” that would have continued to lay golden eggs? A renowned economist Alfred Marshal had thought out a golden principle as “Diminishing Marginal Utility” in order to bring home the market situation with respect to an object of importance/value/utility. And, it well explains how an object is detested by the senses when it is over-supplied. I notice the same principle perfectly applies to sex and sensuality which the modernity is casually and brazenly juggling with. Phew, the under-nourished marital relation may find hard to survive when the sharpness of the sensuality goes blunt.

Salil Gewali is a well-known writer and author of ‘Great minds on India’.  Twitter: @SGewali.

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Shocking Research! China’s Database Contains The Personal Information Of More Than 1.8 Million Women

The database included fields labelled in English for sex, age, education, marital status, as well as a column titled "BreedReady".

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It is not clear whether the database is related to a dating app, government registry or another organisation or company. Pixabay

An open database in China contains the personal information of more than 1.8 million women, including their phone numbers, addresses and a “BreedReady” status which could describe whether a woman has children or was of child-bearing age, according to a researcher.

Victor Gevers, a Dutch Internet expert from the non-profit group GDI.Foundation, found the insecure data cache while searching for open databases in China, the Guardian reported on Monday.

The database included fields labelled in English for sex, age, education, marital status, as well as a column titled “BreedReady”.

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The “BreedReady” status which could describe whether a woman has children or was of child-bearing age, according to a researcher. Pixabay

It is not clear whether the database is related to a dating app, government registry or another organisation or company.

Gevers, who also identified a database maintained by a surveillance company tracking at least 2.5 million residents in Xinjiang, said he was still taking samples and working on verifying the data.

“More than this, we don’t have at the moment. Our primary concern is that it gets secured ASAP,” he told the Guardian.

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The database also included fields labelled “political” as well as links to what appear to be Facebook profile pages. 
Pixabay

The average age of women in the database was 32, with the youngest being 15, he said. Almost 90 per cent of included entries were described single and 82 per cent were listed as living in Beijing.

Also Read: Sunshine Week Highlights ‘How Once Can Access Government Data’

The database also included fields labelled “political” as well as links to what appear to be Facebook profile pages.

Facebook is blocked in China and can only be accessed through virtual private networks. (IANS)