Saturday July 21, 2018

Sexism is Real and Men Face it too!

While women tend to pay heed to such remarks, sexism directed towards men goes largely unnoticed. Read on to know if you have been making sexist remarks towards your male counterparts

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Sexism is unbridled in the Indian society and (finally) being talked about. Pixabay
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New Delhi, September 9, 2017 : Society has a huge role to play in the person that we become. And sometimes, that may not be the right way to go about it.

More often than not, society forces us to be somebody we are not. A woman belongs in the kitchen, a man is not supposed to cry; who established these ground rules to function in the society?

Sexism is real, and men face it too (surprise!)

“Man up!”

“Don’t be such a girl!”

Men are always expected to display vigor and anger; their insecurities are rarely taken into account and would rather be pushed under a rug that the society largely identifies as ‘masculinity’.

We keep reminding men that they should not wear pink, that they cannot cry, and that they are only supposed to express their emotions in a certain way. We tell them to ‘not be such a girl’, to shake off their fears and ‘man up’ and to always take charge. And this never stops.

But what we are forgetting here is that men have emotions too; even when the society does not allow them to emote explicitly.

These expressions and understanding are so entrenched in daily communiqué that sometimes we fail to realize when we are making a sexist remark.

Yes, sexism is unbridled in the Indian society and (thankfully) being talked about.

While women tend to pay heed to such remarks, sexism directed towards men goes largely unnoticed.

Here are a few subtle hints to how sexism has become a part of everyday life for men,

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According to the National Crime Victimization Survey 2016, 38 % victims of sexual violence were men.

Men are often faced with questions like “why didn’t you fight her?”, and made jokes on how they must have enjoyed it because why wouldn’t anybody enjoy a sexual encounter that essentially has ‘no strong attached’.

People in the 21st century fail to realize the real, societal damage that women who sexually assault men, cause to the society.

 

 

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The society largely looks down upon the men who earn less than their ‘weaker’ counterparts.

The man is supposed to be the ‘provider’ of the family, earning most of the money. For many men, it feels like a hard slap when women earn more money.

Because if they aren’t earning a living for their family, how can they be a “true” man?

 

 

sexism
The society places unnecessary expectations on boys from a young age. Boys can only be ‘strong’, and ‘big’. Why cant they be sensitive and soft?

Sexism places men and women in stereotypical roles- women are ‘naturally’ kind, compassionate and sensitive, while the men are ‘naturally’ more rational, and stronger, physically and mentally.

 

 

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There is no denying that girls are body shamed,;but assuming that they are ‘weak’ and hence not self-sufficient is taking that to the next level.

People say this to boys all the time and must be immediately stopped because it increasingly encourages the mindset that girls are inherently weak.

Even when the tone of such sexist comments is compassionate- sometimes even flattering, they are indicative of a stereo-typically narrow and insulting worldview.

 

 

Sexism
Not only is it unnatural to discourage men from undertaking work that they are passionate about, it is also dangerous.

Despite the cliche that art is a universal language, artists are interpreted very differently in terms of their gender. The unease and suspicion that accompany a male artist, irrespective of what art form he practices, are often based out of society’s view of the body and a larger understanding of ‘masculinity’.

 

 

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Suggesting that boys and girls should be held to different behaviors is dowright demeaning, not to ignore dangerous.

The dominant idea about what a ‘real’ man should be include behaviors such as dominance, control, assertiveness, and emotional unresponsiveness. The society continues to think that men ‘do not do work’, but instead they ‘get work done’ by their weaker counterparts-the women.

While circumstances continue to evolve for the better, in the larger society, there still is a special place in the society  for men who get angry- they are looked upon with reverence. No one points out their anger issues, or frowns upon them. It seems like arrogance and aggression are the only two emotions that men can acceptably show; that these are the only emotions that a man today is capable of showing.

We need to understand that men no longer have to ‘man up’. Instead, let them be a little more human


 

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Next Story

Some Self-Seeking Celebrities Misleading Our Society

If one’s mother is insulted then her children will definitely feel hurt

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Priyanka Chopra Has scores Base 25 Mn Followers; Ahead Of Modi, Big B
Priyanka Chopra Has scores Base 25 Mn Followers; Ahead Of Modi, Big B. Flickr

-By Salil Gewali, Shillong

If one’s mother is insulted then her children will definitely feel hurt. This phenomenon has existed from the beginning of the civilization. I don’t consider it as a sort of chauvinism. If children don’t love their mother and a mother doesn’t love her children then it leads to decadence. So is the case with the country of one’s birth. Each individual should love his country and also respect his language and culture.  But I’m afraid, nearly just the reverse is being noticed of late in India. One who professes the love for the country then he/she is considered nerdy and so belittled by using a certain vocabularies, while those you doubt the sovereignty of the NATION then she or he is comforted, defended and honored. I think such development is disastrously treacherous. We have witnessed how a certain media has gloated when Arundhati Roy, who is the pride of the major cohort of elites, aggressively spoke against the present government in her recent interview with BBC. Her articles that regularly published by the top media persistently challenge not just the government but the very genesis of the civilization that flourished in this sacred land. Indeed,  no forces have hurt this nation so brutally than by people misled by the insanely biased intellectualism.

Again, yet another glaring instance being the recently launched episode of Priyanka Chopra. A Bollywood actress who has played a lead role in an US-based TV serial — ‘Quantico’, should have exercised her right discretion. But she did not. So she has quite earned the displeasure of her fans within the country and NRIs abroad. She has been widely criticized on the social media for agreeing to play in a serial which depicts an Indian planning to bomb Manhattan (USA) and then blame Pakistan for such hateful act.  Though it’s not proper to harp much on this but one is pretty sure that no conscious American will ever act in a film where his American fellow brother is shown as a “beggar” on the street of Bangladesh. No sensible Japanese will tolerate being shown as a lazybones leeching on people from other nations.  A Japanese cannot stomach this depiction since the native from Japan people are inherently active and self-reliant. Lord knows what brought Priyanka Chopra to play in a serial that her own native brother is depicted in a bad light.

Arundhati Roy
Arundhati Roy

Frankly speaking, what message does this actress want to send out to the citizens who hold her as their star?  Yes, a country could be a dead piece of land for such high-flying people but they should be a little considerate not to hurt their countless fans who are sensible living beings and who all track each step they take. All should agree that our celebrities should show more responsibility towards their loving fans, also towards the country of their birth. Let our actors’ acts and their spoken words be inspiring, not misleading.

Also read: Sunil Chhetri Becomes 2nd Indian Football Player To Play 100 International Matches

But very regrettably, these days just the contrary is happening. Particularly Bollywood stars who are synonymous with vulgarity, venality and bias have greatly misled our youths. They have deliberately trampled upon the social values by spreading the filth of debauchery. Even scared Indian households have been desecrated by airing a stream immoral TV serials by Ekta Kapoor and dirty films by father and daughter (Mahesh Bhatt and Puja Bhatt…..) and so on an so forth. In truth, the lust for money has made such celebrities stoop to the gutter level and they shamelessly do any dirty acts under the sky.

Salil Gewali is a well-known writer and author of ‘Great minds on India’. Twitter: @SGewali