Tuesday October 17, 2017
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A Love Detective may help you conclude: Love Marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage

Parents approach love detective to know about their children's companions

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Indian Wedding Image: Wikimedia Commons

By Pashchiema Bhatia

Love marriage vs. Arranged marriage has always been a debatable issue. One obvious reason for this is the generation gap. Most of the people of older generation advocate arranged marriages because they believe that their children are not mature enough to decide on such crucial matters. Indian society is still largely identified for arranged marriages and on top of that for same-caste alliances. 95 % of marriages still happen within the caste.

In the modern times and with the widespread usage of technology and social media, conventions and traditions are being challenged. Love marriages are gaining more acceptance.

Love Couple Image: Wikimedia Commons

Love Couple Image: Wikimedia Commons

For people of new generation, love marriage is more comfortable because they would already know each other and after spending months and years together, they would come up with the decision to get married.In our traditional society, love marriages however come with an anxiety for the parents and families. Societal bonds are such that families want to know about the background and reputation of the would be family member. Probably that has led to emergence of the concept of ‘Love Detective”. Rajni pandit is one such example.

Related Article: Mizoram has the highest percentage of inter-caste marriages

Social media is a platform where people of different castes and opposite gender interact and that’s the reason why it becomes a matter of concern for parents when their children become more active on social media and then the parents are left with only one option and that is to approach love detectives like Rajani Pandit.

Rajani Pandit is a lady love detective who goes undercover to help parents in ensuring their children’s future by probing into their personal lives and finding the truths about their love stories. There are several detectives who investigate on post-marital affairs but Rajani is the first lady who investigates youth relationships. This concern of parents may result in many more professional love detectives coming up.

Parents approach her and ask her to follow their children and find out the information about their companions. This lady love detective has solved a total of 7,500 cases in India.

Watch This Video to know how Rajani works and why parents approach her:

Before watching this video, I could debate for hours on this matter to advocate love marriages because if I have to consider those cases of honor killings where innocent children are killed by their own parents just because their love story is not acceptable for the society then I do not find the concern of those parents tolerable. But in this video, there is an old lady who fears that her daughter is dating someone who is already married and finally approaches love detective to seek help. Rajani follows him and finds that he is not only married but also he has two children. But the same thing can happen after arrange marriage also. Some people, after getting married, do cheat their partners. It can happen after any sort of marriage so blaming only love marriages won’t be reasonable.

From this video I got to know that both sort of marriages have their cons and pros and successful marriage is all about fate, trustworthiness and the maturity of the two people to persist understanding and love.

Here is a very satisfactory quote of Dr. Epstein which helped me to conclude:

“The idea is we must not leave our love lives to chance. We plan our education, our careers and our finances but we’re still uncomfortable with the idea that we should plan our love lives. I do not advocate arranged marriages but I think a lot can be learned from them.”

Pashchiema is an intern at NewsGram and a student of journalism and mass communication in New Delhi. Twitter: @pashchiema

2 COMMENTS

  1. I somewhere feel these love detectives shouldn’t be approached much. Instead, if you fear of something ill happening with your child, you must confront them directly and ask them about their views, discuss your fears, know about the other partner from your child’s point of view and then take decisions. This will not only help you understand the your child’s partner but also will help build the generation gap between you and your child. Plus this will ensure you have great communication and bonding within the family

  2. The article is pretty infuencing but I’m amazed with this intern who has written this article.she has a very broad mindset and very practical thinking.
    More than this article, we need that broad thinking that Miss.Paschiema have!
    Conclusion is great, Nicely written.

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Love Destination Weddings? 7 Locations in Udaipur to have the Wedding of your Dreams

An entire week of celebrations in an oh-so-gorgeous locale, away from the madness of your city life.

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It is hard to have a wedding in Udaipur that is NOT stunning. Pixabay

Udaipur, October 3, 2017 : With baraatis and band baaja in tow, the modern-day groom wears aviators and crosses lakes to get to his bride.
The bride these days no more sits coyly in rooms. Instead, she walks down royal stairways lined with exotic flowers to welcome the groom and his entourage.

A royal backdrop, stunning photos, bright colors, and lovely weather. Destination weddings are enticing, aren’t they?

An entire week of celebrations in an oh-so-gorgeous locale, away from the madness of your city life.

Not only do destination weddings ensure everyone stays at the same place, having all the more fun, and saving you all the last-moment panic attacks about absent guests, but you get to live one of the most important days of your life with everybody who is special.

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The most special day of your life should be perfect in every way! Pixabay

Now unless you have been living under a rock all your life, destination weddings would ring ‘Udaipur’ in your head at the loudest decibel possible. It is hard to have a wedding in Udaipur that is NOT stunning. From entirely Rajwada style comfort settings with cushions in a blast of fuchsia to metallic gold boho bulbs’ lighting to the breezy blue and silver décor and marigold-filled pathways around the fort in tune with the wedding, venues in Udaipur offer a surprising blend of traditional and modern wedding razzmatazz perfect for dreamy destination weddings.

The city has an abundance of gorgeous and scenic locations that should all probably be at the top of your list; we tell you why!

List of Best Destination Wedding Locations In Udaipur:

1. Jagmandir Island Palace

When history, art and weddings collide, it’s pure inspiration! Beautifully snuggled on an island in the middle of lake Pichola, Jag Mandir has an encompassing view of the City Palace, Lake Palace, the lake and the Aravali hills.

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Jag Mandir is also called ‘the Lake Garden Palace’ for its astounding beauty. Wikimedia

Imagine getting ferried to and fro the venue in decorated boats in the form of a procession; isn’t it already sounding dreamy? Beautifully illuminated with lights, the entire island as one nears Jag Mandir.

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Jag Mandir resembles a floating jewel in the middle of lake Pichola. Pixabay

The 17th century island palace is believed to have inspired Emperor Shah Jahan to build the Taj Mahal and rightly so! Once inside, the place transcends you to another era. It is well equipped with a fine dining restaurant, a bar and seven tastefully adorned suites and can accommodate upto 5,000 people- enough space for pre-wedding, wedding and post wedding functions.

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The courtyard of Jag Mandir Palace. Wikimedia

The picturesque Jagmandir Island Palace today plays host to an elite clientele and makes the perfect host for destination weddings and for couples who dream of regal nuptials.

2. Fort Fatehgarh

Looking for a serene wedding location in the hills? Perched on a hilltop 20 minutes outside the city, the Fategarh palace spells an old world charm and a true feel of a heritage hotel.  Adorned with poised white pillars, domes and intricately done jali screens, the place has been tastefully crafted with its graceful proportions and airy reception areas, courtyards and verandas.

destination weddings
Located on top of a hilltop, Fort Fateh Garh will take your heart away at first glace.

With about 50 rooms and suites and 3 outdoor wedding lawns, the hotel is perfect for families who would want an entire palace to themselves with all its regal grandeur.

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Wedding arrangements at Fort Fatehgarh.

3. Oberoi Udai Vilas

With sprawling courtyards, rippling fountains, reflection pools and lush gardens, Oberoi Vilas mesmerizes every on-looker. But as they say beauty lies within, it is what is inside that is a complete delight. Interiors embroidered with decorative domes, hand-painted frescoes, intricate mirror work and beautifully crafted artifacts; the place is what is defined as love at first sight!

destination weddings
The Oberoi Udai Vilas : what dreams are made of. Wikimedia

The site with its green lawns graciously spread all across the property, the promenade and the Chandra Mahal offer perfect venues for intricate weddings.

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A panoramic view of the lake palace Hotel. Wikimedia

4. Udai Kothi

Splendid exteriors in sparkling white, it is like you have been magically transcended to Greece!  Located at the heart of the city, this hotel has a lot of character with each room and each corner having its own style, perfect for an intimate wedding affair.  With carefully selected furniture, soft accents and décor and artistically done jharokhas overlooking a delightful view, the hotel has all the right vibes for destination weddings.

destination weddings
A panoramic view of Udai Kothi

 5. Raas Leela

Tucked at the edge of Lake Pichola with a spectacular view, Raas Leela is a dream location for a sun-downer wedding!  The property opens to a marvelous, specific view of the royal lake and would be a pretty location for lakeside wedding destinations. Adorned with luxury cottages that echo the rich taste of Mughal travelling cottages overlooking the royal palaces, the venue is a fusion of modern comfort and traditional style.

destination weddings
Raas Leela is a dream location for a sun-downer wedding

The venue by itself is so interesting and appealing, the décor really stands out, pictures turn out prettier and of course everything looks better with the shimmering, pearly water in the background.

6. Chunda Palace

Wonderfully tranquil and peaceful, this might be the gorgeous destination weddings’ venue you’d not want to miss!

destination weddings
Chunda Palace is perfect for a small wedding with friends and family.

With a heritage and traditional appearance, Chunda Palace screams sophistication the moment you enter it.  Exteriors embellished with royal carvings and the interiors decorated with Rajasthani architecture, this hotel offers a spectacular view of the City Palace and lake Pichola.

destination weddings
The interiors of the palace bear intricate and detailed designs.

The venue perfectly fits the criteria for small but strikingly royal destination weddings for a group of 200 people.

destination weddings
Chunda palace has a rich heritage and traditional appearance

7. Ramada resort

Parched in the backdrop of the mighty Aravalis, the Ramada resort offers breathtaking views of Sajjan Palace, panoramic views of lake Pichola and the City Palace with all its many forts and palaces. Varying in height, the resort creates a spectacular view with its array of gardens and pool side spaces in tranquil settings.

destination weddings
Corridors of the Ramada resort

The venue can be tailored according to requirements, from an intimate gathering of your closest friends and family to a formal setting for hundreds of guests.

 

Your guests will remember what the bride wore, how the groom entered the venue, and who danced to what Bollywood number. But apart from this, what makes a wedding out of the world? Undoubtedly the venue and the entire setup! Udaipur venues for destination weddings make your shaadi unapologetically quirky, complete with fun Rajasthani colors, funky décor, tasteful pool parties and finally, a traditional and glam wedding.

Check out the best of our list on venues of destination weddings and let all your sherwani and saree clad guests enjoy your five-day affair with zeal matching your own! Happy wedding!

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Indian Lawmaker Seeks to Trim Big Fat Indian Weddings as it is becoming Social statement for most Indian Families

In a country that holds some 10 million marriages a year, India’s booming wedding industry is estimated to be worth about $35 billion and racing ahead at 30 percent a year

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Brides arrive beneath a canopy of flowers for the wedding ceremony. (A. Pasricha/VOA)

With weddings becoming the biggest social statement for most Indian families, a bill that proposes to target the usually ostentatious celebrations has stirred a lively debate – can Indians be persuaded to cut down on the size and scale of marriages?

The big, fat Indian wedding is no longer restricted to the rich. As a booming economy has put more money into the hands of the middle class, they too are staging extravagant, multi-day celebrations at five-star hotels and farmhouses.

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A member of parliament from Bihar, Ranjeet Ranjan, is introducing a new bill in parliament called the Marriages (Compulsory Registration and Prevention of Wasteful Expenditure) Bill 2016, which proposes that those who spend more than $ 7,500 on their wedding should donate 10 percent of the money to a government fund, which wold be used to fund marriages of poor girls. It also seeks to put a cap on the number of guests and dishes served at wedding functions.

Indians spend thousands of dollars on decor to transform banquet halls in five star hotels and farmhouses for marriage functions.

Indians spend thousands of dollars on decor to transform banquet halls in five star hotels and farmhouses for marriage functions.

Ranjan told VOA her aim is to remove the intense social pressure the middle class and others face to host elaborate celebrations. “This has become a status symbol. People sell land, take loans to host their daughter’s weddings,” she lamented. “Parents set aside a fat budget for their children’s wedding, particularly girls weddings.”

Estimates show that many Indian parents fork out one fifth of the wealth they have accumulated on hosting a wedding. While budgets vary widely, many middle class families shell out $50,000 to $100,000 for their children’s nuptials.

In a country that holds some 10 million marriages a year, India’s booming wedding industry is estimated to be worth about $35 billion and racing ahead at 30 percent a year. It is often described as a recession-proof industry, untouched by financial downturns or economic slowdowns.

At colorful Indian weddings, grooms arrive on horses and chariots amid dancing and beating of drums. (A. Pasricha/VOA)
At colorful Indian weddings, grooms arrive on horses and chariots amid dancing and beating of drums. (A. Pasricha/VOA)

New Delhi resident and finance professional Pradeep Bhargava, who has hosted his daughters’ and sons’ marriages in recent years, feels wedding spending has gone a step too far. “We are going 100 percent overboard, trying to show off, trying to be one up,” he says.

Many of these parents recall that their own weddings some three decades ago were relatively simple affairs where family and friends sang wedding songs at home and cooks prepared traditional delicacies.

But that’s history. Now as an aspirational middle class joins the race to put up a grand show, elaborate ceremonies spread over two to five days have become the norm — from putting henna on the bride to choreographed dance shows, grooms arriving on chariots and elephants and exotic wedding feasts with several types of food available. Event managers and wedding planners are no longer just the purview of the rich.

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The spending on décor alone can run into the thousands of dollars said Pooja Gupta from New Delhi based Elusive Dreams, which specializes in adding glitz and glamour to wedding venues. “They want new themes that come out every season, and they really want to transform the face of the venue, and they are willing to spend whatever, unlimited. They want to outdo each other at the wedding,” she said.

Many people vehemently oppose any effort to impose a tax on wedding expenses and say any effort to trim lavish Indian weddings has to be led by society itself.

Sanjoy Pasricha, who is in the midst of hectic preparations for his daughter’s wedding to be held next month, has opted for a destination wedding in the beach resort of Goa. He points out that a marriage is a major event for an Indian family. Strongly opposing any government role in regulating wedding expenses he said, “It’s my decision how much I want to spend. It’s as good as saying that you will have to stop wearing suits and only wear trousers, or you should not wear silk saris, but only cotton saris.”

Putting henna on brides and guests is one of the elaborate ceremonies at Indian weddings. (A. Pasricha/VOA)
Putting henna on brides and guests is one of the elaborate ceremonies at Indian weddings. (A. Pasricha/VOA)

Putting henna on brides and guests is one of the elaborate ceremonies at Indian weddings. (A. Pasricha/VOA)

However, lawmaker Ranjeet Ranjan said many people would welcome an escape from the extravagant spending that weddings now involve. “The response I am getting is that a lot of people who spend due to pressure from society will be happy to get the shelter of the law,” according to Ranjan.

The lawmaker, who is from the opposition Congress Party, said she has found strong support for her bill, which could be taken up in the next session of parliament starting in March. Although new legislation typically takes years as it winds through the two houses of parliament in India, she is confident it could pass if the government supports it.

The ruling Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has not yet taken a position on the proposal.(VOA)

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India: A Cultural Melting Pot under the Influence of West?

As Western culture has mingled with the Indian society, it has given a vast array of choices to Indians. But it has reached a point where Indian morals, ethics, and dignity are in danger

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Source: Pixabay

October 31, 2016: Indian society is formed by the incorporation of culture followed by Indians since the ancient times. Undoubtedly, Indian culture is one of the oldest existing cultures in the world. With each passing decade, it’s evolving as per the needs of the Indians. But in the recent times, Western culture has been a heavy influence in the way Indian society is morphing. It has led to a few advancements, but at the same time, has caused Indians to disconnect from their roots rapidly.

The infiltration of Western culture is very much visible in the daily routine like choosing a pair of jeans over ethnic wear while going out, listening to rap music instead of Indian classical songs and preferring love marriage over arranged one.

Representational image. Pixabay.
Representational image. Pixabay.

As Western culture has mingled with the Indian society, it has given a vast array of choices to Indians. It enables each Indian to form a sense of individualism. But it has reached a point where Indian morals, ethics, and dignity are in danger.

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Indian culture boasts of its conservative attitude, but people are becoming more experimental and more curious. Peer pressure, lack of concern for family members and personal sense of gratification are the prime reasons.

Consumption of alcohol and drugs is getting excessive in India. Around 45% teenagers indulge in heavy drinking during their senior secondary exams.

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Representational image. Pixabay

There are over 3 million drug addicts in India. Cannabis, Opium, and Heroin are the most popularly used drugs. Most of these behaviors are glorified in western rap songs, movies and by the Western celebrities.

In fact, Indians have started looking down at their own culture. In a country like India where globalization is at its peak, speaking English is the norm. Around 10% of India’s population (approximately 125 million people) is fluent in English, making it next to The US among all the English-speaking countries.

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English was introduced in India as a way to empower Indians and to help them compete on a global level. It has helped in their progress, as many Indians are leading big American companies like Google and Microsoft, but it is threatening to diminish the value of Indian languages. As a result of colonization, speaking English has become a sign of sophistication  and intelligence. It is only because of this reason that the new generation devours English novels and newspapers while neglecting their mother tongue.

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Indians are walking a thin line. They have to adjust to the Western culture while holding on to their Indian values. It is important to adopt various Western influences which are helpful for their mental, physical and economic growth. But they must not devalue Indian culture which can lead to their emotional, spiritual and ethical growth. The new generation must emerge as a fine amalgam of both the cultures in equal ratio.

-prepared by Shivani Vohra of NewsGram. Twitter:@shivanivohra26