Tuesday January 21, 2020
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A Love Detective may help you conclude: Love Marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage

Parents approach love detective to know about their children's companions

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Indian Wedding Image: Wikimedia Commons

By Pashchiema Bhatia

Love marriage vs. Arranged marriage has always been a debatable issue. One obvious reason for this is the generation gap. Most of the people of older generation advocate arranged marriages because they believe that their children are not mature enough to decide on such crucial matters. Indian society is still largely identified for arranged marriages and on top of that for same-caste alliances. 95 % of marriages still happen within the caste.

In the modern times and with the widespread usage of technology and social media, conventions and traditions are being challenged. Love marriages are gaining more acceptance.

Love Couple Image: Wikimedia Commons

Love Couple Image: Wikimedia Commons

For people of new generation, love marriage is more comfortable because they would already know each other and after spending months and years together, they would come up with the decision to get married.In our traditional society, love marriages however come with an anxiety for the parents and families. Societal bonds are such that families want to know about the background and reputation of the would be family member. Probably that has led to emergence of the concept of ‘Love Detective”. Rajni pandit is one such example.

Related Article: Mizoram has the highest percentage of inter-caste marriages

Social media is a platform where people of different castes and opposite gender interact and that’s the reason why it becomes a matter of concern for parents when their children become more active on social media and then the parents are left with only one option and that is to approach love detectives like Rajani Pandit.

Rajani Pandit is a lady love detective who goes undercover to help parents in ensuring their children’s future by probing into their personal lives and finding the truths about their love stories. There are several detectives who investigate on post-marital affairs but Rajani is the first lady who investigates youth relationships. This concern of parents may result in many more professional love detectives coming up.

Parents approach her and ask her to follow their children and find out the information about their companions. This lady love detective has solved a total of 7,500 cases in India.

Watch This Video to know how Rajani works and why parents approach her:

Before watching this video, I could debate for hours on this matter to advocate love marriages because if I have to consider those cases of honor killings where innocent children are killed by their own parents just because their love story is not acceptable for the society then I do not find the concern of those parents tolerable. But in this video, there is an old lady who fears that her daughter is dating someone who is already married and finally approaches love detective to seek help. Rajani follows him and finds that he is not only married but also he has two children. But the same thing can happen after arrange marriage also. Some people, after getting married, do cheat their partners. It can happen after any sort of marriage so blaming only love marriages won’t be reasonable.

From this video I got to know that both sort of marriages have their cons and pros and successful marriage is all about fate, trustworthiness and the maturity of the two people to persist understanding and love.

Here is a very satisfactory quote of Dr. Epstein which helped me to conclude:

“The idea is we must not leave our love lives to chance. We plan our education, our careers and our finances but we’re still uncomfortable with the idea that we should plan our love lives. I do not advocate arranged marriages but I think a lot can be learned from them.”

Pashchiema is an intern at NewsGram and a student of journalism and mass communication in New Delhi. Twitter: @pashchiema

  • Vrushali Mahajan

    I somewhere feel these love detectives shouldn’t be approached much. Instead, if you fear of something ill happening with your child, you must confront them directly and ask them about their views, discuss your fears, know about the other partner from your child’s point of view and then take decisions. This will not only help you understand the your child’s partner but also will help build the generation gap between you and your child. Plus this will ensure you have great communication and bonding within the family

  • Rishabh Sharma

    The article is pretty infuencing but I’m amazed with this intern who has written this article.she has a very broad mindset and very practical thinking.
    More than this article, we need that broad thinking that Miss.Paschiema have!
    Conclusion is great, Nicely written.

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  • Vrushali Mahajan

    I somewhere feel these love detectives shouldn’t be approached much. Instead, if you fear of something ill happening with your child, you must confront them directly and ask them about their views, discuss your fears, know about the other partner from your child’s point of view and then take decisions. This will not only help you understand the your child’s partner but also will help build the generation gap between you and your child. Plus this will ensure you have great communication and bonding within the family

  • Rishabh Sharma

    The article is pretty infuencing but I’m amazed with this intern who has written this article.she has a very broad mindset and very practical thinking.
    More than this article, we need that broad thinking that Miss.Paschiema have!
    Conclusion is great, Nicely written.

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Prepare Yourself for the Wedding Season with this Beauty Guide

Your pre-wedding beauty guide

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Wedding look
This wedding season, rock your look by following this beauty guide. Pixabay

The wedding season has begun. And whether youre the bride, or bridesmaid or brides mother, sibling or a close friend, you want to look your absolute best! Its also the perfect excuse to give your skin a makeover just in time for the festivities. Sobiya Moghul from Amazon Beauty shares some tips to ensure glowing skin, flawless makeup and lustrous hair on the D-day.

For glowing skin

Use a moisturising face wash: Some face washes can be extremely drying, striping off the essential oils on your skin- especially if you have dry and sensitive skin. Use a facial cleanser that hydrates the skin while gently cleaning away the impurities.

Clear dark spots: Exposure to heat and stress are the biggest causes of dark spots. Use a brightening cream and ensure that you apply SPF at least 15-20 minutes before you step out into the sun. If you want slight coverage, use a BB cream with SPF.

Banish acne: Use products laced with benzoyl peroxide twice a day to banish acne. Since it works by attacking the acne-causing bacteria and drying the skin, use a concentration that is suitable for the amount of acne in your skin. You can use a toner, face wash or face pack with this ingredient. Use a retinoid cream at night to help combat excessive drying and peeling of the skin.

Skin wedding
Moisturizing and exfoliating your skin can help you prepare well for the wedding. Pixabay

Exfoliate, exfoliate and exfoliate: Instead of repeatedly running to a salon, use face and body scrubs to exfoliate your skin. Regular exfoliation helps unclog pores and boosts blood circulation. Your skin will have a youthful glow when you use a scrub at least 2-3 times a week. Try not to over-exfoliate and be gentle while using the scrub.

For lustrous hair

Deep conditioning treatments: For a deep conditioning treatment, use a hair mark to nourish your hair. The best way to tame your mane is to lavish some TLC at least once a week. Choose a mask that treats your specific condition: If your hair is dry and frizzy, opt for a hydrating mask and use a hair mask enriched with proteins if your hair fall is out of control.

Using a heat protectant: Don’t shy away from using straighteners, curling tongs and blow dryers to achieve the perfect hairstyle. Instead, just use a heat protectant to prevent any damage to your hair. How this product works is that it redistributes the heat to your hair gently and slowly-controlling the way your hair receives the heat.

Oil your scalp: Oil your scalp frequently and for best results, massage the oil into your scalp thoroughly yet gently. Try and keep the hair oil overnight and use a hot towel to ensure your scalp can soak in the oil completely. Don’t use too much oil and use a mild shampoo to wash it off.

Hair wedding
You can use heat protectants for the perfect wedding hairstyle. Pixabay

For flawless makeup

Pick the perfect foundation: Play with different foundations to see what works best for your skin type. A foundation wear-test is a must, since you also need to check if it is long-lasting and not causing any reactions. The ideal foundation should give you a satin smooth finish and maximum coverage.

For lipstick that lasts: The key to making your lipstick last is using a thick layer of lip scrub overnight leading up to D-Day. Also, leave it on for a couple of hours before you have to get dressed. Gently wipe this off, apply a lip balm and a layer of concealer before you apply your lipstick. This nourishes your lips and allows the lipstick to blend in and last longer.

Opt for a waterproof mascara: Every wedding is emotional and even if you’re not about to shed a few tears, it’s best to opt for a waterproof mascara. You can even use a lengthening mascara and then top it off with a waterproof mascara. Dark and voluminous lashes will definitely elevate your look.

Also Read- Here are 5 Ways to Reduce Joint Pain in Winters

Fix your makeup: A wedding event lasts for long hours and you want to keep your makeup intact without rushing for a touch-up every 1-2 hours. Invest in a good setting spray to ensure that your makeup stays in place and it also gives you a dewy finish. Hold the spray about 6-8 inches from your face, close your eyes and ensure that the mist covers your entire face. (IANS)