Wednesday March 21, 2018

Marriage is a commitment, not contract


By Nithin Sridhar

The Supreme Court on Thursday declined to grant a divorce by mutual consent to a couple after it found out that the couple had decided to part ways because the husband had promised to pay for his wife’s treatment if she gave her consent for divorce.

The couple married in 2010 and applied for divorce by mutual consent in 2013. The Apex Court observed that the woman, who was suffering from breast cancer, agreed for the divorce after her husband offered to give an alimony of 12.5 lakhs so that she could use the money for her treatment.

Upholding the sanctity and sacredness of the marriage, the bench headed by Justice MY Eqbal stated: It is a duty of the respondent (husband) to take care of the health and safety of the petitioner (wife). In the instant case also it is a primary duty of the husband only to provide facilities for the treatment of the petitioner. This is a pre-existing duty of the husband, provided the husband has sufficient means and he is diligently doing his part in taking care of her.”

The SC judgment is very significant on multiple counts. Firstly, it sent a strong signal that divorce could not be used as a medium to run away from one’s responsibilities. Secondly, it upheld the fact that though homemakers do not earn money, they do contribute towards the family and equally share happiness and sorrow thereof. Thirdly, it upheld the sanctity and sacredness of marriage.

What is marriage after all? Is it just a contract that can be broken anytime, anywhere on a whim? Or is it a commitment, a bond that has a higher purpose?

The Sanskrit term for marriage is: ‘Vivaha’, which means ‘that which imparts special rights’ (vishesena vahati iti vivaha). But, what special rights is it speaking about? The ‘special rights’ here refers to the right of each couple to share their life, their goals, their duties, and their destinies with each other. In other words, ‘Vivaha’ gives the couple ‘Right’ to enter Grihastha Ashrama– the stage of married life, which is vital not only for achieving social welfare but also for individual spiritual uplifting. This is best highlighted in the marriage vows uttered during the Sapthapadi ritual of marriage:

Let us walk together, hand in hand, the seven steps symbolic of the aspirations below;
May We take the first step together for sap (nourishment);
May We take the second step together for vigor;
May We take the third step together for thriving wealth;
May We take the fourth step together for comfort;
May We take the fifth step together for offspring;
May We take the sixth step together for the various seasons;
May We take the seventh step together for everlasting friendship;
You be my unswerving partner; let us have many auspicious progeny who shall see long life crossing 80 years.

Thus, marriage is not just a contract similar to business deals. It is a bond, a commitment between husband and wife to share the body, mind, and soul for the purpose of achieving the fourfold goals of life: Dharma (duty), Kama (desire), Artha (wealth), Moksha (liberation).

It is for this reason that the Court observed: “Hindu marriage is a sacred and holy union of husband and wife by virtue of which the wife is completely transplanted in the household of her husband and takes a new birth. It is a combination of bone to bone and flesh to flesh.

This commitment cannot be one sided. Both the spouses are bound to keep the commitment. Such a marriage, wherein the couples stay together in times of happiness but separate when their spouses fall on bad times, is no marriage at all.

This does not mean, divorce as such is wrong. It is just that divorce should not be used as a self-serving tool. The husband who wants to have a divorce because his wife is suffering from cancer is disregarding the very first two vows of providing nourishment and vigor to his wife.

Instead of supporting his wife in difficult times, he is promising to give her money in return for a divorce, thereby making a complete mockery of the sacred institution of marriage.

Alas, the fact is that a large number of people today in this secularized fast moving world, have reduced marriage from being a sacred commitment to being a self-serving contract that is devoid of love, selflessness, and dedication.

The Court rightly addressed this particular case by asking the husband to first fulfill his duty towards his wife by getting her treated and then ask for a divorce. But, the society is yet to address the continuous downfall of marriage from being all about commitment, duty, and love to being a business contract.


Also Read: Vivaha Panchami: Celebrating Rama’s marriage to Sita

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Life Lessons We All Should Learn From Lord Shiva

There are lot's if life lessons that one can learn from this Hindu deity

There are many life lessons that one can learn from the philosophies of Lord Shiva. Wikimedia Commons
There are many life lessons that one can learn from the philosophies of Lord Shiva. Wikimedia Commons

By Ruchika Verma

  • Lord Shiva is the supreme Hindu Deity
  • He is a symbol of peace and tranquillity
  • There are lot’s if life lessons that one can learn from this Hindu deity

Lord Shiva as everyone knows is a Hindu God. He is one of the Trinity and is the principal deity of Hinduism.  God Shiva is considered the “destroyer of evil and the transformer” of the world. The Birth and history of Lord Shiva are topics of great discussions and confusions.

Lord Shiva is one of the principle deity of hinduism. Wikimedia Commons
Lord Shiva is one of the principle deity of Hinduism. Wikimedia Commons

Lord Shiva is known to have no end and no beginning, yet, the origin of his birth is a much sought-after topic for several generations. Many ‘Puranas’ claims Shiva to be ‘aja’ meaning the one who has no birth. Some other scriptures claim that Lord Shiva was born out of Lod Narayana or Lord Vishnu. However, the authenticity of all the claims remain unclear, and there is still a solid mystery which surrounds the origin and birth of Shiva.

Shiva is also known Mahadev, i.e., the gods of all gods and rightly so. Throughout the Hindu mythology, Shiva has been portrayed as a tranquil and peaceful figure who grants all prayers of his followers and devotees. His another name is ‘Bhole Bhandari’ because of his innocent nature.

Lord Shiva is known for his peace and tranquillity. Pixabay
Lord Shiva is known for his peace and tranquillity. Pixabay

However, other than his peaceful nature, the other thing Lord Shiva is famous for is his flaring temper. Indian mythology is full of stories about Lord Shiva causing mass destruction due to his anger. The opening of his third eye is said to cause mass destruction.

Also Read: Enigmatic Mount Kailash: The abode of Lord Shiva

Lord Shiva’s appearance is a beautiful shade of blue because of him consuming the poison from the sea to save the world. However, just like his body is shades of blue there are many shades to his personality as well. Here are few life lessons of Lord Shiva that we all need to take a note of.

  • Come what may never tolerate the evil. Being destroyer of the evil himself, Shiva teaches us to never tolerate or bow down in front of the evil.
  • Self-control is the key to living a fulfilled life. Excess is of everything is bad and losing control ourselves is worse. One should always have a control over themselves to live a successful and fulfilled life.
  • Materialistic happiness is temporary. To be happy, be adjustable like water. Shiva says that attaching our happiness to earthy, material things won’t give us long-lasting happiness.
  • Keeping calm is very important. Lord Shiva used to meditate for hours and is easily the epitome of calmness and that’s what he advocates too.
  • Desires lead to destruction. Shiva believes that desires lead to obsessions which in turn leads to destruction. Never desire more than what you deserve. Be happy with what you have and work hard for what you want to achieve.
  • Respect your family. Lord Shiva is husband to Goddess Parvati and father to Lord Ganesha and Lord Kartikeya. He respected his children and especially wife a lot. Respecting one’s  family is very important for living a successful life.
  • Control your ego and let go of pride. Ego prevents us from achieving greatness. Let go of your pride and control your ego to live a fulfilled life.
  • Everything is temporary. Everything in this world is temporary. Time changes as do we and our choices and desires. It is better to let go of all the ‘moh maya’ and live in the moment happily with what we already have.