Monday January 22, 2018

Do Parents have different Standards and Expectations from Sons and Daughters?

There exists a double standard in dealing with sons and daughters

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A family (representational image), Pixabay
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– by Athina Ann Thomas

Jan 16, 2017: All parents want their children to do well in life. They even dream and plan for their children before their birth. They want the best for their children. But when it comes to girls and boys, do parents have different hopes and standards? Yes, they do!

Most parents are more concerned about their son’s education than for their daughter’s. It is sad to see that some parents though educated, subconsciously think that the daughter will get married and leave while the son will be there for them.

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Sons are considered as a blessing, the person who will carry forward the legacy of the family. At some parts of the country, it is even said that “educating a daughter is like watering a plant sowed in someone else’s garden.”

There exists a double standard in dealing with sons and daughters. Girls are trained to be homemakers and brought up with a mentality that their main purpose in life is to take care of a husband and two children.

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On the other hand, sons are encouraged to be outgoing, to take part in sports and given all the liberties that girls are generally deprived of. They are brought up with a mentality that in the future they will be earning a living for their family.

It’s not that these families do not educate their daughters, they do but their focus is more on the boys. They are not bothered for their daughter as much as the son. The saddest part is that even educated families do this. They are willing to spend a good part of the family resources on the son’s career building but are not willing to do the same for their daughter, but they are willing to spend on the daughter’s marriage.

In many countries including ours, higher education is a privilege of the boys. Parents are unwilling to send their daughters to higher classes because they are physically mature. There exists an unexplainable fear that danger lurks behind them.

Even now parents do not appreciate their daughters freely mingling with classmates especially students of the opposite sex. There is a limitation in freedom of speech and freedom of expression. There is fear that if a girl is given freedom she may revolt and go against traditional beliefs and customs of the society in which first comes marriage to a person of her own choice.

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No matter how educated a person is- these are some customs that the society follows since time immemorial. Thus I conclude by saying that even in the twenty-first-century parents do have different hopes and expectations from sons and daughters. 

Centre for Social Action (CSA) is the development wing of Christ University. Set up in 1999, it believes in strengthening student community with a view to enabling positive changes in the society. Athina Ann Thomas is a volunteer at the organisation.

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Why do people quit their job?

The trend of quitting a job is taking a heavy toll on the young generation. The reason can vary from work-related, personal, family to some miscellaneous reasons.

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Quitting job is related to multiple factors. Wikimedia Commons
Quitting job is related to multiple factors. Wikimedia Commons

Every now and then we come across someone who quit his job or is thinking to quit. I talked to some of these people and figured out that there are multiple contributing factors for this. Basically, these can be grouped as work-related, personal, family related, or miscellaneous reasons. These can play a role either alone or in combination.

Work-related Reasons:

1. Uncaring boss or bullying by boss or seniors leading to stress and negative thoughts.

2. Feeling of micromanagement and continuous supervision

3. No promotions or financial increments.

4. Odd or long hours of work or different shifts leading to mental and physical exhaustion and disturbance of sleep cycle.

5. Corruption, favouritism, biases at the workplace.

6. No recognition or reward for hard and honest work.

7. Frequent hiring and firing at the workplace. Feeling of insecurity.

8. No challenges in the workplace. Underutilization of skills.

9. Low pay, wages, or bonus.

10. False promises by the employer.

11. Working in isolated chambers, strained relationship with co-workers or if the work environment is not optimal.

Also Read: Ten Tips On How To Boost Self-Confidence

12. Cultural isolation at the workplace. Feeling left out.

13. Forced to quit by the employer.

Striking balance between job and life is very important. Wikimedia Commons
Striking balance between job and life is very important. Wikimedia Commons

Personal Reasons:

1.Not able to keep up with latest technologies and advancements.

2. Health issues. Not able to keep appointments and take care of own health.

3.Long commute to work.

4. Not able to do housework.

5. No time for personal care, spiritual advancement, socialization, keeping up with hobbies.

6. Inability to attend social events, arrange vacations, or calling in sick.

7. Urge to work from home.

8. Personality factor. Not able to work with someone. Want to be the boss and desire to control. Want to quit because of arrogance or in a fit of rage.

9. Depression.

10. Inadequate skills to continue working and feeling that performance is not optimal and can lead to harm.

Also Read: How to Manage Your Time Smartly and Effectively?

Family Reasons:

1. Inability to take proper care of family members or spend time with them.

2. Sick family member.

3. Family in a different city, state, or country.

4. Pressure to quit from family, relatives, or friends

Most of the youngsters are becoming a victim of depression due to various factors. Wikimedia Commons
Most of the youngsters are becoming a victim of depression due to various factors. Wikimedia Commons

Miscellaneous Reasons:

1.Financial security is in place. The job is just a way to pass time.

2.Want to give an opportunity to younger people.

3.Greener Pasteur (opportunity to find a better life)

4. Afraid of lawsuits or legal actions.

5.The belief that they will get more money and work fewer hours in the new endeavour.

6. Anticipating getting fired.

7. Lured by other employers.