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Documentary “UnSpoken” explains Ganesh Nallaria’s Childhood Sexual Abuse and how he is at Peace with his Traumatic Past
Mumbai, December 3, 2016: Ganesh Nallari, a sexually abused child, is now a well-settled artiste and painter, at peace with his traumatic past.
In a documentary entitled “UnSpoken” Ganesh speaks on what it means to be a victim of sexual abuse and how to beat the demons that threaten to destroy the violated human being’s very essence of existence.
Excerpts from an interview in which he relives his horrific past and celebrates his peaceful present.
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Q: Your short film “Unspoken” is a mirror of your own fears and insecurities?What prompted you to make this film?
A: I wanted to become someone worthy before I spoke about my childhood trauma, so that I can give strength to all the survivors and empower them through my film. If I can make it, so can they! We often talk and read about the dos and don’t for children and parenting but not much has been done for the adult survivors who still live in denial and find it difficult to confront their past. People don’t take mental health seriously as much as they run to a doctor when they have a physical wound.
Q: Have you confronted the man who abused your innocence and scarred you for life? Why have you not exposed me? By keeping mum, haven’t you encouraged potential violators of children’s innocence?
A: I confronted my abuser on his deathbed only to forgive him. I had to forgive him for my own self; I did not want to live with that burden all my life. I had to let go to move forward. I had stopped talking to him for years, from that day when I screamed my NO.
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Q: What made you suffer the pain and agony for so many years and what made you come out with it?
A: My life began at 17, I was focusing on recreating myself. Moving away from familiarity of the place and extended family. I’m the only child for my parents and they have been supportive, I do not want them to feel guilty about this one particular thing.
Q: How do we deal with the increasing number of sexual predators, many of them at home?What precautions do you prescribe to safeguard children?
A: When you first think of child abuse, you only get the image of the child. But today when I stop and think about it some more I realize that the ripple effects of the heinous act are far -reaching. The parents are also victims. The family bond that is irreversibly altered is a victim. As the child grows up and becomes integrated into the society, the friends are also in some way effected and therefore victims. The entire society becomes a victim for these reprehensible acts.
Q: So what precautions can we take to ensure our kids’ safety?
A: Society needs to be aware. It has to be a united effort to prevent this. The teachers, the extended family, the parents ?. everyone who plays a part in the child’s life needs to be intimately familiar with the markers of abuse. And they need to be vigilant. Everyone is responsible for a child’s safety. Not just the parents. Often they are the last to know. It’s a cruel and yet all to common reality because the abuser is so often a trusted member of the inner circle of the family.Society needs to stop making it a cause. It needs to be an ever-present reality in everyone’s life. It is imperative that we are aware and vigilant all the time and we have to support the survivors and everyone else in their lives that are affected by this in one way or the other. It’s not and can never be – just a cause. It’s not. It’s a harsh ground reality for society as a whole.
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Q: What is your message for children and adults who have been abused?
A: I am honest about everything I do and that’s what I have shown in my film. From the dark past to the present all I have been doing is indulging myself in various forms of art, creating multiple identities. I narrated this story through a painting because it came naturally to me, ever since I can remember, as a child, I turned my pain into something beautiful through dance and painting. (IANS)
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It began expanding outside of the United States in Canada in May 2019 and has now launched in India. So its become simple and easy for anyone to sell items from their closet, enabled by a full suite of end-to-end seller tools and services, including seamless listing, merchandising, promotion, pricing, and shipping. Indian consumers will be able to join Social marketplace Poshmark, Inc. (Nasdaq: POSH), a booming community of more than 80 million users and a vibrant network of millions of shoppable closets to make money, save money, connect with others, and foster entrepreneurship.
The platforms scalable model and infrastructure enables continued expansion to new countries and categories in the future. | Photo by Duy Hoang on Unsplash
"As an Indian who grew up exploring the marketplaces of Old Delhi, I know firsthand how important it is to come together and connect as part of the shopping experience. I am confident that our social marketplace will resonate with Indian consumers and allow us to build a thriving and successful community here." The platform's scalable model and infrastructure enables continued expansion to new countries and categories in the future. (IANS/ MBI)
(Article originally written by: N. Lothungbeni Humtsoe)
Keywords: Clothes, garage, Poshmark, India, Old Delhi, social marketplace
Great historic events that have shaped the world and changed the outlines of countries are often not recorded in memory, or so we think. Wars made sure to destroy evidence and heritage, and the ones who survived told the tale of what really happened. Folklore, albeit through oral tradition kept alive many such stories, hidden in verse, limericks, and rhymes.
Ringa-ringa-roses, a common playtime rhyme among children across the world, is an example of folklore that has survived for many centuries. It tells the story of the The Great Plague of London which ravaged the city between 1665-1666.
The Plague broke out from improper disposal of garbage and poor sewage conditions. Fleas from the rats that lived in the sewers spread the disease that killed more than half of London's population. Many people fled from their homes as there was no medicine available for those who were infected.
Beak-shaped masks worn during the Great Plague of London Image source: wikimedia commons
It was around this time that masks began to be invented. The first masks were shaped like beaks, and were worn not to protect the wearer from the disease, but to the prevent them from being able to smell the decay and death around them, which they called 'miasma'. The beaks were filled with floral herbs that allowed doctors and nurses to tend to the sick without being reviled from the smell.
Children are often seen forming circles by holding hands and reciting loudly,
Pockets full of posies
We all fall down"
An illustration of the Great Plague of London, 1665 Image source: wikimedia commons
When the last line is sung, they break the circle and fall down. The roses and posies are believed to be the preferred fragrances inside the masks, and a single sneeze (a-tishoo) was enough to infect the one who was exposed to the disease. Consequently, they fell down, ill, and later died.
An alternative version of this rhyme is sung about the fall of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in the aftermath of World War II. The roses and posies are interchanged with geranium and uranium, to symbolise what was used in the atomic bomb. But this version is not as famous the original.
Keywords: Rhymes, Ringa-ringa-roses, Great Plague of London, WWII, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Folklore
In modern times, many social movements aim to bring reform to the society we live in, on the basis of certain existing patterns. Patriarchy is something that many aim to cleanse our cultures of, to usher in the era of social and gender equality. Despite all these so-called movements, in southern India, certain societies that patronise matriarchy have existed since before India's independence. The Nairs and Ezhavas of Kerala, and Bunts and Billavas of Karnataka are matrilineal societies that continue to thrive in a patriarchal country.
Kerala remains separate from the rest of India in many ways. Be it literacy policy, form of government, or cultural practices, this state does not always conform to the ideal that India is known for. Even so with their social structure. Certain tribes have remained matrilineal, where the decision-making power rests with the eldest female of the family.
The Nairs and Ezhavas of Kerala, and Bunts and Billavas of Karnataka are matrilineal societies that continue to thrive in a patriarchal country. Image source: wikimedia commons
A male member, who is the close confidante of the matriarch is chosen. He plays a crucial role in representing the male members of his family, and his opinion is highly valued. He is called karavanan. The men reside in separate rooms or in separate houses, and do not interfere in the upbringing of children. Property is also passed down along the lineage of the eldest female. Among the Nairs, matriarchy is more prominently adhered to than the Ezhavas, who have some patrilocal connections.
In Karnataka, the Bunts and Billavas belong to the Tuluva ethnic group. They are also a predominantly matriarchal society, founded on the belief in a legend. Their matrilineal descent is known as Aliyasantana.
The story is told of a demon who threatened to destroy a kingdom if the king did not sacrifice his sons, but the king's sister comes forward to offer her children in sacrifice for the sake of the kingdom. The demon is touched and does not destroy the city. Since then, the kingdom, or the property is inherited through female lineage.
In Karnataka, the Bunts and Billavas belong to the Tuluva ethnic group. They are also a predominantly matriarchal society, founded on the belief in a legend. Image source: wikimedia commons
In the recent past, many of these matriarchal societies have been reduced to matrilineal societies by certain governmental laws. They fall under the patriarchal scheme of the rest of the state but have reserved the right to pass on property and heritage through the female line. In the North east of India, matriarchal dominance is far more resilient than the south.
Keywords: Bunts, Billava, Nair, Ezhava, Aliyasantana, Matrilineal, South India, Karnataka, Kerala