November 19, 2016: November 19 marks the International Men’s Day in the honor of men across the globe but it’s not as big in India as it should be. While the rest of the world on this day highlight important issues concerning men such as the men’s health issues and discrimination they face, Indians don’t really know of the occasion much.
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Maybe, because the root of patriarchy in India is so deep that to dedicate a special day to them doesn’t seem to be necessary. However, privilege does come along with its own set of pressures, and it’s the same in India.
On International Men’s Day, let’s look at the other side of the story.
The unfortunate sides of being a man in India:
You should be the breadwinner
Men are by default expected to be the breadwinner of the family. They essentially need to take up well-paid jobs. You don’t really have the option to take up something where the pay is less as you need to support your family.
In comparison to that, some women in India still have the luxury to choose their own career without thinking much about the returns, or even they can choose not work at all, but men, they don’t really have such an option in India.
If your wife is a working woman, you should earn more than your wife. Always!
In this 21st century, Indians have somewhat made peace with educated, and working women but wife earning more than the husband is something Indians still cannot stand. This may sound a little weird, but it cannot be denied.
Even if the husband himself doesn’t feel it that way, society will make sure that he feels the other way round by mocking or criticizing him.
You are a man. You should behave in a certain way
You are a man and you shouldn’t express your feelings in public. No matter how heartbroken you are, you cannot cry. You cannot wear pink as that’s too feminine. You need to be rough and tough, or pretend to be even if you are not. You should essentially love sports, and video games. Whereas, clicking selfies is again feminine.
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Feminism and Chivalry should go together for you; you cannot miss either of them
Pinch of both is essential. You need to pull the chair, pay the bill, open the door, also you should go on your knees to propose the girl you love, and at the same time, you got to believe in equality of both the sexes. You just need to choose between chivalry and feminism depending on the situation actually.
The concept of being ‘Manly’
‘Be a man’, ‘you are man’ are some of the phrases men in India will definitely listen as he’ll be growing up or rather all his life.
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Sadly what people fail to understand is there is nothing called masculine or feminine- it is a perspective that varies from person to person, and it cannot be determined by gender.
– by Pinaz Kazi of NewsGram. Twitter: @PinazKazi