October 27, 2016: No wonder, parents always like to give their best to their children but then sometimes they go way too far to show their affection. Before things go out of hand, parents should pay attention to some of the points below:
Giving their child all kinds of comfort is something every parent wishes but then again it may have a negative result when he’ll grow up. It is better not to entrust with huge sums of cash or jewellery in their early years, as knowing the worth of money is important.
To treat them as Kings-
It is good to make your kids feel special, but it can have negative consequences if the parents lose the authority over their children. Treating them as kings is the last thing you should do.
Stop them from working!
Work is essential; making them understand the value of it is necessary. Being a parent, you may want to protect them from laborious tasks but teaching them some vital work will be helpful later.
Allowing them to do whatever they want all the time:
It’s a big no! If you think you are forcing your decisions on them, it’s not that. There needs to be a fine balance. In the early years, they hardly realise their needs; you need to choose for them at that point of time. Well, in the later years they’ll be wise to take their own decisions.
Parents often ignore the mistakes of their children but if the mistakes are repeated, such behaviour will not really help them. It is necessary at times to punish them for their wrong deeds so that they can differentiate between wrong and right.
The upbringing of a child plays a major role in how that child turns out to be in real life. In a country like India, where the crime rate concerning female sexual molestation and rape is high, upbringing by parents is often questioned. Parenting boys become a significant factor to prevent such crimes. From their very childhood, they should be taught to respect women and the quality of being gentle and sensitive. Crime rates are one thing, but many times, unknowingly, we pass comments which are sexist and derogatory. For example, a parent may often scold his/her son by saying, “don’t cry like a girl”. These statements showcase women as inferior to men. This makes the elders responsible for first discerning the concept of parenting boys well.
Below are a Few Tips for Parenting Boy
Be The Ideal Role Model
Most boys look up to their fathers as a superhero. Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of the fathers to act like one. They should be the ideal father figures who instil values and responsibilities in their sons. The fathers must model the behavior to teach their sons the men they hope them to become. Mothers should also act as the same role model to their sons by inculcating good values in them.
Teach Them As To How To Deal With Emotions
When your son is upset or feeling low and wants to vent his feelings, then don’t stop him. Don’t just say: Be strong or Be a man! Talk to them. Make them realize how important is it to act mature at tough times. Don’t hush them by stopping their tears. Instead, understand the reason behind those tears so that they become stronger persons for the tougher times to come in life.
3. Teaching Empathy
One of the biggest things which parents should keep in mind, especially when parenting boys, is to teach them to be more empathetic. Kids of today’s times are more aggressive than how kids used to be 20 or 30 years ago. And one of the biggest reasons of this is technology. Boys are much more attracted towards violent video games, which make them more aggressive and numb towards human emotions.
Just because your son has grown up and needs to be strong should not be mean that he doesn’t deserve the same amount of care and affection as he used to when he was a child. Parents after their kids reach adolescence get distant from them. At this age, parents try to tutor their kids, especially their sons. Being under constant instruction without the same amount of care and affection being rendered, they’ll disconnect and never share what needs to be shared.
5. Give Freedom To Sons For Making Important Decisions
If you want your son to not go off the track, then trust him and let him take important decisions of his life. Your decision to give him the freedom to make decisions of life will make him think that he has grown mature, and he would start understanding his responsibilities well. He will also be able to distinguish between right and wrong. This is one of the most important things to keep in mind while parenting boys.
-by Megha Acharya of NewsGram. Megha can be reached at @ImMeghaacharya.
Parenting is a challenging part for most of an individual’s life
It is important to have an open dialogue with the children about social issues and stress
Discussing difficult topics help children understand the issue and face them more confidently
July 29, 2017: An article recently uploaded by Merck Manual answers parenting questions regarding the social issues that children see in daily life. Steven D. Blatt, Professor of Pediatrics at the State University of New York, answers the best ways to talk out problems with children.
Children entirely depend on their parent for survival and protection. And the parent sacrifices the entire life for the same. In the growing up process, it is important that children are also provided with love and care. At the same time, they must be toughened up and aware of the potential issues they will face in near future. Coping effectively with stress should be taught at the very beginning to the child.
Prof. Blatt highly recommends active social interaction. What is important is not just interactions inside the home but mostly outside. The externals may include relatives, friends, people at school, parks, religious centers, and other public interactions. Children tend to pick up stress coping ability by handling these interactions. Children also quite remarkably observe adults and observe how they handle stress.
Along the growing up process, internal conflicts that emerge and cause major disturbance to family structure and order has a deep influence on the child. Challenges such as illness or divorce challenge a child’s ability to cope and further destabilize emotions and social development. An illness, which is quite common, puts the child under distress and naturally impacts his performance in academics and extracurricular activities.
It is not just the child but his family that is stressed. Taking care of a child that is ill is a suffering like no other. Handling a child who has a serious behavioral problem is a major challenge. At this time, support should never be inadequate to the child. With family support comes a sense of security. Essential resources must at all times be employed into taking care of the child.
Life events such as divorce, illness, bullying and other social issues seem scary at a young age. Moreover, events that may not have a direct effect on children are also potentially worrying. Natural disasters, terrorist attacks, international wars, mass executions cause anxiety and fear among children. Subsequently, these fears impact the child for a long period.
Prof Blatt accepts that talking out difficult topics with young children is complicated and not the most chosen approach. However, he suggests open discussion. Open dialogue helps the children overcome their fears of talking about uncomfortable and unpleasant topics. These unnecessary fears which are constant at the back of the mind are thus eliminated as children talk transparently with their guardians.
A child should be able to comprehend that anxiety is a very common phenomenon. They must learn that anxiety is only natural and that it always lessens over time. Steven Blatt believes that regularly discussing such topics with children starting from an early range often results in children being automatically more open about such discussions as adolescents.
The professor further suggests how the discussion should take place. Complex and unpleasant topics should be discussed in a quiet surrounding. The place of conversation must be safe and comfortable. But most importantly, it should be that time of the day when the child is really interested in hearing what you have to say. With this interest, understanding drastically improves.
The parent has to remain calm, open, honest and straightforward. Moreover, all the attention of the parent’s mind should be on the topic at hand. Interestingly, nodding your head when appropriate and even using the phrase “I understand” boost the child’s confidence and encourages the child to confide deeper and further. Retrospective and reflecting on what the child thinks is a big bonus to the ever improving relationship of parent and offspring.
Asking how the child feels encourages a fruitful discussion. It also brings out more emotions on the part of the children. Through this, parents can extract the deeper emotions that the child may not be expressed openly. Offering reassurances and explaining the present situation is always beneficial for the child. Blatt says that parents often overestimate the power of reassurance and that is often the big mistake that is committed.
Another conversation that threatens the open dialogue is when a parent has to address difficult aspects of child’s behavior. For instance, the addiction to drugs or other substances. It may get difficult for the parent to choose a suitable approach. However, the professor suggests being direct is the most effective approach. In a single conversation, the parent’s love, care and at the same time concern must be reflected in their phrases. Then, it should be followed up with hope and support. Also important to keep in mind is allowing the child to speak and explain his thoughts.
Lastly, involving therapists and counselors at difficult times is beneficial to both the parties to the relationship.
– prepared by Saksham Narula of NewsGram. Twitter: @Saksham2394
Children in poor household fail to respond appropriately to everyday situations
Effective parenting is important for mental and emotional stability of children
A study including 250 homeless parents and their children suggested, that children who are exposed to high family adversity may happen to respond well to parenting interventions
New Delhi, July 21, 2017: Social relationships and its complex web which children experience with either their parents, teachers or peers in school and friends or other family members- exerts an influence on the child’s behavior which is quite powerful. Researchers feel that in children, the process of transformation begins as they start developing core relationships with parents or primary caregivers in their lives, which eventually, shapes children’s personality.
Better relationships, or relationships that are stronger and more secure, tend to help children understand and deal with issues, which further help in the stabilization of their behavior and development of social skills that they could carry with them for life. Children who are acquainted with such relationships, grow up to be healthier mentally and are able to respond appropriately to everyday situations. This way, children’s mental health depends hugely on their social relationships.
However, children in poor households do not share the privilege. They, generally, fail to learn how to respond properly to situations and often end up with bad grades in school. Naturally, children with unstable emotional regulation are more vulnerable to experience frustration, anger and other destructive emotions that serve as an obstacle in their way to good performance, or completion of tasks.
Social exclusion seems to be another consequence of their disruptive behavior, this behavior being the primary impact of poverty. A child’s behavior needs to be paid attention to and no wonder, effective parenting is the ultimate key.
A study including 245 homeless parents and their children, aged 4 to 6 years was conducted and the findings suggested that children who are exposed to high family adversity may happen to respond well to parenting interventions, whereas children in extreme poverty may benefit from interventions targeting disruptive behavior and enhancing teacher-child relationships.
“These results emphasize the importance of high-quality parenting for social-emotional development, but also its potential limits. Severe poverty may overwhelm the benefits of strong parenting for children’s behavior, suggesting that interventions promoting child resilience need to reduce poverty-related risk in addition to building protective factors in the family,” said lead author Madelyn Labella.
The study states that the children experiencing poverty suffer greater behavioral problems, but, significantly, it is also a reminder for parents about the importance and need of good parenting skills.
The study appears in the journal Child Development.
-prepared by Samiksha Goel. Twitter @goel_samiksha
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