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A groom who refused dowry was mocked and labelled “gay.”
Amish Aggarwala’s post shows how deeply dowry culture still shapes social attitudes.
The incident shows that laws alone can’t change mindsets without social change.
Recently, lawyer Amish Aggarwala, an Advocate on Record at the Supreme Court of India, shared an incident on Twitter that sparked widespread discussion about social norms in India. What began as a story about dowry quickly revealed another issue: casual homophobia. Many might wonder—was the groom gay? The truth, however, is far from that.
According to Aggarwala, the bride’s family offered dowry to the groom, but he refused to accept it. His decision, based on ethics and a desire to avoid participating in an illegal practice, was met with mockery. The father-in-law insulted him and even labeled him “gay,” implying that anyone who rejects dowry is somehow not manlike.
Aggarwala’s post highlights that the problem of dowry is not limited to the groom’s side. Sometimes the pressure falls on men as well, especially when they take a lawful stand against dowry. Instead of being appreciated, the groom was shamed with personal insults and gendered stereotypes. This shows that, despite decades of legal prohibition, dowry is still treated as a normal tradition in many households.
The incident also points to a deeper societal problem: the casual use of words related to sexual identity as insults. Terms associated with LGBTQ+ identities are often weaponized to shame or humiliate, reinforcing homophobia and reducing serious identity concepts to cheap slurs.
Legally, demanding dowry is a criminal offence under the Dowry Prohibition Act, punishable by imprisonment and fines. Pressuring someone to marry or calling off a marriage due to dowry demands can also lead to harassment claims and compensation.
Reacting on social media, netizens shared their views. One user wrote, “The price to pay for following ethics in an unethical setting.” Another commented, “If a man accepts dowry, it’s jail; if he refuses, he’s called gay.” These reactions highlight how deeply rooted dowry culture remains in India and how societal attitudes often clash with legal provisions.
This episode is a stark reminder that laws alone cannot change mindsets. Until society actively rejects dowry and the casual shaming of ethical choices, individuals who choose to do the right thing will continue to face ridicule and social pressure. [Rh]
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