New Delhi: When a study asked Indian Muslim women whether the system of oral triple “talaaq” be banned, an overwhelming majority (92.1%) of them said “Yes”, according to a Times of India report.
Divorcing one’s wife by saying the word “talaaq” (divorce) three times, has been a practice unique to the Muslim community and it has been legally adopted in the Muslim personal law. But, many consider it discriminatory as only the husband can divorce his wife and not vice versa.
The study which interviewed around 4,710 Muslim women, was conducted by NGO Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan (BMMA) which has been working towards bringing reforms to the Muslim personal law. The study was conducted between July and December, 2013.
The study found that around 91.7% of Muslim women do not want their husbands to have a second marriage. Other findings include: 73% Muslim women were from families earning less than Rs. 50,000 per year; 55% were married before reaching 18-years; 78% were homemakers; 82% had no property in their name; and 53% Muslim women reported that they had faced domestic violence.
The report also revealed that around 83% Muslim women wanted an arbitration process before the divorce was granted and 83.3% women believed that Muslim family law should be codified.
The Times of India report quotes Noorjehan Safia Niaz, one of the authors of the report as saying: “An overwhelming number of women demands reforms in Muslim personal law. They want an elaborate codified law based on the Quranic justice framework to cover matters such as age of marriage, divorce procedures, polygamy, maintenance and custody of children.”
Currently, divorce has become so rampant; for instance, in the U.S, the divorce rate stands at a whopping 50 percent! It’s alarming, right? However, when you’re on the wrong side of these odds such statistics even makes it more painful.
Good news for you! Unhappy marriage does not mean the end result is divorce. Provided one of you has a strong desire to salvage the marriage, it’s possible.
Marriage counseling in Denver state that they have helped so many couples to reconcile and enjoy their marriage again. Some of the couples had even signed the divorce papers while others were at the verge of divorce.
Which tactics did they use? Below are 6 steps that prominent marriage therapists recommend to salvage your marriage.
Accept your spouse’s feelings
It’s okay to feel anxious and down-casted if your spouse wants a divorce; however, it doesn’t mean your partner will not come around.
Each one of you has the right to express or feel the way they want to; therefore, you have to agree that your spouse wants out. It’s important for you to accept your partner’s position without manipulating it.
This will help you get to the root cause and most likely things will turn around and reawaken your love towards each other.
At this time you need to concentrate on building yourself and being the best person you can be. Visit friends, marriage therapists like those Marriage Counseling in Denver or learn yoga.
Ultimately your spouse will notice the changes and the new positive attributes in you.
After following the above guidelines, most likely your spouse will come around. You can meet for coffee and focus on positive discussion, not on the fallen relationship.
Once the barrier is broken and you can smile and laugh again; you can gauge if you can work out things together.
It is important to note that stable marriage needs both partners to be actively involved. After following the steps above, you should assess if your partner is reciprocating or you are just hitting a rock.
You can involve a counselor along the process in case things are not adding up. Try as hard as you can to salvage your marriage, but if your spouse doesn’t show up you will still feel great how you carried yourself.