The Unpublished ‘She’ Chapter of 'Reminiscences of the Nehru Age' Explores the Indira Gandhi–Mathai Love Affair

Key Points:

Indira Gandhi, India’s only woman Prime Minister, has long been surrounded by rumours, controversies, and political legends. Many of these stemmed from M.O. Mathai, Jawaharlal Nehru’s powerful private secretary, who served from 1946 to 1959 and later wrote Reminiscences of the Nehru Age (1978).

Mathai was more than just Nehru’s aide—he managed both his political affairs and his personal life. In his memoir, he claimed explosive details about Nehru’s relationships with Edwina Mountbatten, Padmaja Naidu, and Mridula Sarabhai. But the most sensational controversy revolved around a missing chapter titled “She”, which never made it to print but allegedly described a 12-year-long affair with Indira Gandhi.

Publishers maintained they never received the “She” chapter in the manuscript, yet the alleged text has circulated online for decades. In it, Mathai claimed his intimacy with Indira lasted twelve years. He even admitted in the book “I had fallen deeply in love with her.”

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According to him, Indira once told him directly: “I want to sleep with you, take me to the wilds tomorrow evening.” Mathai confessed he had no experience, to which Indira responded by giving him two books, including one by Dr. Abraham Stone, on sex and female anatomy.

He further recalled that Indira invented pet names for them. She called him “Bhupat, the dacoit”, while he called her “Putli, the dacoitess.” “Oh, Bhupat I love you,” she would often whisper, Mathai claimed.

Though never officially published, the alleged chapter contained even more sensational claims. M.O. Mathai wrote that Indira once became pregnant and had an abortion. He added that her cold public persona was merely a façade. Behind closed doors, he described her as “exceptionally good in bed” and “fond of prolonged kissing.” He went further, writing: “In the sex act she had all the artfulness of French women and Kerala Nair women combined.”

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The relationship, Mathai said, ended abruptly when he discovered Indira with yoga guru Dhirendra Brahmachari, who would later be rumoured as one of her closest confidants. Another figure often linked to her was Foreign Minister Dinesh Singh.

Yet, despite these alleged personal controversies, Indira’s political life remained towering. Initially dismissed as a “goongi gudiya” (dumb doll) by her critics, she proved her mettle by splitting the Congress and leading India to victory against Pakistan in the 1971 war. Fiercely ambitious, she thrived on power struggles—with party bosses, foreign leaders, and even her own father, Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru.

Her marriage too reflected her restless energy. Speaking once of her personal life, Indira remarked: “We didn’t deserve a normal, banal and boring life.” That statement perhaps captured her essence best. Indira Gandhi lived in a world where politics, power, and personal battles intertwined. She remains an enigmatic figure—admired, feared, and endlessly discussed.

Though Mathai’s claims fueled decades of speculation, no evidence has ever confirmed them. The Gandhi family has never given any statement on the issue, and Indira Gandhi–Mathai love affair remains an unclear story.[Rh/VP]

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