CONGRESS MP SONIA GANDHI’S MEMOIR Belonging: A Journey of Love has been making headlines recently, sharing some personal yet deeply revealing chapters from the life of the elder daughter-in-law of the Nehru-Gandhi family. In her personal memoir, she has revisited some earlier chapters of her life as the bahurani (elder daughter-in-law) of the family and her relationship with Maneka Gandhi, who was married to Sanjay Gandhi. Ever since the memoir was released on November 10, 2026, the family dynamics of India's oldest political family have had everyone talking.

Talking about Maneka Anand’s arrival into the family, Sonia Gandhi also writes about the family equation that eventually changed, leading to her troubled relationship with her in-laws. Maneka Gandhi was 18 years old when she married Sanjay Gandhi, who died in an aeroplane crash just six years after their marriage, in 1980.
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Sonia Gandhi describes Maneka Gandhi’s “zesty” personality

In Sonia Gandhi’s memoir, she describes Maneka as a “pretty vivacious girl” who was 10 years younger than her when she married Sanjay Gandhi. In the beginning, the senior Congress MP writes about welcoming young Maneka into the household. She adds that the household staff referred to her as “bahurani (elder daughter-in-law).” She wrote that she believed Maneka and herself to be equals in their home.

Sonia Gandhi also describes the personality of young Maneka as that of a girl who was “full of zest” and calls it “refreshing” to have a younger sister-in-law in the house. She writes that she would hear Maneka’s laughter coming from Amie Aunty’s (Amie Crishna) room, who was a senior member of former prime minister Indira Gandhi’s household staff.

The calmness did not last, and things began to change later on. “But slowly, the atmosphere began to change, with irritations cropping up in the home,” wrote Sonia Gandhi in her memoir. Tensions began to arise over the way the two daughters-in-law were addressed in the household. Sonia Gandhi was addressed as “bahurani” and Maneka as “choti bahu (younger daughter-in-law)”, which she “probably saw as a putdown,” Sonia Gandhi wrote.

In her memoir, Sonia Gandhi also recalled instances when differences between Sanjay and Maneka would shock the rest of the family. She wrote that “Maneka would use expletives, even in the presence of my mother-in-law, that were taboo in the home; they embarrassed him and shocked us.” She also claimed that being a young wife with a “sociable and gregarious temperament” and living in a joint family could have been difficult for Maneka.

When Political Equations in the Nehru-Gandhi Family Started to Get Tense

Sonia Gandhi recalled Indira Gandhi telling her Cabinet Secretary, PN Dhar, about Maneka Gandhi, saying, “Uske abhi se par nikalne lage hain (She has started growing wings already.)” Indira Gandhi reportedly believed that Maneka was encouraging Sanjay Gandhi’s activities instead of “acting as a sobering influence.” The senior Congress leader further blamed Sanjay Gandhi for the excesses committed during the Emergency (1975–1977) in her memoir.

Sonia Gandhi records Rajiv Gandhi telling his younger brother, “I cannot forgive you, Sanjay — you have brought Ma to this pass.” While Indira agreed with Rajiv, Maneka tried to intervene during their discussion, prompting Indira Gandhi to raise her voice and challenge her to deny it.

Sonia Gandhi alleged that Maneka’s hostility towards them increased to the extent that she began spreading stories about them through journalists.

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Sanjay Gandhi’s death and Maneka Gandhi’s Exit from the Gandhi family 

On June 23, 1980, Sanjay Gandhi died in an airplane crash at the age of 33 while performing an aerobatic loop stunt in a plane. At the time, his son, Feroze Varun Gandhi, was three months old. Sonia Gandhi wrote in her memoir that Maneka’s mother was pushing Sanjay’s supporters in the party to secure a position for his widow.

She added, “She had a three-month-old baby and would need to be with the little one; she should be patient; there would be enough time later to fulfil her political ambitions.” Tensions escalated around Feroze Gandhi’s first birthday when Maneka organized a party at the residence of BJP politician Vasundhara Raje, who was a political opponent of Indira Gandhi.

Calling the move an “insult”, Sonia Gandhi wrote, “With this act, Maneka had crossed all limits. To my mother-in-law, it was a deliberate challenge.” Maneka’s rift with her in-laws only escalated after that, leading to her dramatic exit from their home in March 1982.

[Rh/VS/VP]

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